I try to be real on this blog. I don't want to just share all the good ideas and happy stories. I want to share the ups and downs, in hopes that it would help even one person out there dealing with the same thing. So today I want to open myself to you readers and share an area in which I've been struggling: anger towards my 2-yr old toddler. I've had a really hard time lately controlling my anger and frustrations with Eli. I've been disciplining out of anger and yelling and just not being a good example to my son. I know it and I hate it and I so want get control again. I was talking to a close friend about it, got some good ideas from her, and have been reflecting on the following Bible verses on anger and patience:
Proverbs 14:17 "A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated."
Proverbs 14:29 "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."
Proverbs 16:32 "Better is a patient man than a warrior, a man on who controls his temper than one who takes a city."
Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Ephesians 4:22-5:2 "...put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness... In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold... Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs [even to my toddler]... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another [even to my toddler], forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love..."
Colossians 3:8,12-14 "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips... as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Galatians 5:22 "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."
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If I don't display patience, kindness, and self-control then I am no better off than my toddler throwing tantrums. He will learn more from watching me then he will ever learn from what I tell him. It is so very important for me to get a grip on life and give him a good example to follow by using God as my strength instead of relying on myself.
When I was talking to my friend Angie she gave me some good ideas of how to discipline. They had just started this with their toddler and it sounded good to me, so we gave it a shot and so far I think it's really helping! So here's what we do: first step, when Eli disobeys or does something he knows he shouldn't we take him into the bathroom for his discipline. This alone makes a HUGE difference. 1) That short walk into a separate room helps me calm down and get control of the situation. 2) It helps to separate Eli from what he's upset about, whether it's a certain toy he wants or something he's wanting to get at. second step, spanking. third step, since disobeying us is disobeying God, we have Eli say, "Sorry, God, for _____ (yelling at Mommy, throwing the toy, hitting Grandma, etc)" I love that this step helps Eli recognize and confess what he has done wrong. fourth step, we don't leave the bathroom until Eli is calmed down. When we do return to the scene of the crime, Eli is so much better. He really seems to be responding well to this. And it's also easy to follow through when we're not at home, because we're already used to going to a separate room. So, thank you, Angie for all your help!
Proverbs 14:17 "A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated."
Proverbs 14:29 "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."
Proverbs 16:32 "Better is a patient man than a warrior, a man on who controls his temper than one who takes a city."
Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Ephesians 4:22-5:2 "...put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness... In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold... Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs [even to my toddler]... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another [even to my toddler], forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love..."
Colossians 3:8,12-14 "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips... as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Galatians 5:22 "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."
********
When I was talking to my friend Angie she gave me some good ideas of how to discipline. They had just started this with their toddler and it sounded good to me, so we gave it a shot and so far I think it's really helping! So here's what we do: first step, when Eli disobeys or does something he knows he shouldn't we take him into the bathroom for his discipline. This alone makes a HUGE difference. 1) That short walk into a separate room helps me calm down and get control of the situation. 2) It helps to separate Eli from what he's upset about, whether it's a certain toy he wants or something he's wanting to get at. second step, spanking. third step, since disobeying us is disobeying God, we have Eli say, "Sorry, God, for _____ (yelling at Mommy, throwing the toy, hitting Grandma, etc)" I love that this step helps Eli recognize and confess what he has done wrong. fourth step, we don't leave the bathroom until Eli is calmed down. When we do return to the scene of the crime, Eli is so much better. He really seems to be responding well to this. And it's also easy to follow through when we're not at home, because we're already used to going to a separate room. So, thank you, Angie for all your help!
