Book Notes: A Wife After God's Own Heart

I just finished reading the book A Wife After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George and as much as I'd love to show you ALL of my book notes, I don't think it would be fair to the copyright of the book. So please, if you're interested in more, go buy it! I've learned quite a bit and it's been of great help to me!

At the end of each chapter is the author's list of concrete ways to apply the lesson to your daily life. I would love to list all of those here, but again, you'll just have to read the whole book to get those great tips. I will share some of my favorite sections though and I hope you can take something from it...

CHAPTER 1: Growing in the Lord
* Ask yourself, How's your heart? "God desires that we develop spiritual muscle so we are strong enough to be HIS kind of wife."
* The most important thing you must decide to do each and every day as a wife is to put the LORD FIRST.

CHAPTER 2: Working as a Team
* 4 God-given roles of a wife:

• A wife is to help her husband. (Gen 2:18)
• A wife is to submit to her husband. (Col 3:18)
  
• A wife is to respect her husband. (Eph 5:33)
  
• A wife is to love her husband. (Titus 2:4)

A simple acronymn to help us remember these roles:

W arm up his life with your love.
I mprove his life as a helper.
F ollow his leadership with a willing heart.
E steem him highly with utmost respect.

CHAPTER 3: Learning to Communicate

* Communicate God's way by...

• learning to PRAY at the first hint of frustration or self-pity
• learning to SAY NOTHING when my emotions approach a danger point
• learning to WAIT for the right time to communicate
• learning to "TAKE THE BLAME"-- use phrases like "I'm having a problem understanding this... or seeing how this can work... or accepting this change" "Can you help me out...or help me with my thinking" --Much better than accusing language.

* Take the time to prepare your heart and your words. Pray about timing, tone, and topics.

CHAPTER 4: Enjoying Intimacy
* Go to bed at the same time!
* Tackle the excuse of "I'm too tired."

CHAPTER 5: Managing Your Money

* Be sure you are...

• Praying
• Giving
• Saving-- for a home or home furnishings, for retirement, for a special trip, vacation or missions trip, to fund someone's ministry, etc.
• Budgeting
• Doing without
• Bewaring-- of greed, lust, bitterness, and envy
• Growing-- in contentment

My husband and I have had a savings goal in mind but we didn't seem like we were actually making progress. Every time we put money in, for some reason it would get transferred right back out. But after I read this chapter we decided to think of specific things we want to save for (house, computer, trip, car, and Christmas, all on top of our normal building of our savings account) and set a dollar amount to each thing so we know specifically what we're working towards. Even if we don't have ALL the money saved before we need it, at least it won't be a wammy when it does come time. Having these specific goals has helped so much for us!

CHAPTER 6: Keeping Up the Home
* You are to build your home. (Prov. 14:1)
* You are to watch over your home. (Prov. 31:27 She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.) "In other words, she is not content to go through life eating and sleeping..and is never lazy." That's the key verse that has really helped motivate me since I read that!
* You are to manage your home.
* You are to keep your home.

Six things are requisite to create a "happy home."
Integrity must be the architect, and
Tidiness the upholsterer. It must be warmed by
Affection, lighted up with
Cheerfulness; and
Industry must be the ventilator, renewing the atmosphere and bringing in fresh [vitality] day by day; while over all, as a protecting canopy and glory, nothing will suffice except
The blessing of God.

CHAPTER 7: Raising Your Children

2 of my favorite things from this chapter--

* Get up before the children do... have time to officially wake up, sit quietly alone, read from the Bible, make your to-do list, and pray for the day and your dear family. This is something I've really been struggling with. Every day I set my alarm for 6:00 so I can do this very thing and have this quiet time before the day starts. But I can SO not get up when that alarm goes off, and every day I lay in bed until baby wakes up at 7:00. This is going to be another weekly challenge for myself--just getting up earlier so I can have this sacred time.

* This quote about a woman's role: "Perhaps a prayer is her first and finest role in life. She is the one who is always praying...and her children know it." Ah, this is the kind of woman I want to be!

CHAPTER 8: Extending Love to Family
Read the story of Ruth and Naomi. Enough said.


CHAPTER 9: Tending Your Career

God-Given Priorities...

1. Love God. "not only the first priority but my ultimate priority and consuming passion. This passionate and passionately-tended relationship with the Lord creates a rich, deep reservoir she can draw from in order to whole-heartedly tend to her other God-given roles and relationships."
2. Love her husband.
3. Love her children.
4. Love her home--"where the successful nurturing of her marriage and family can take place"
5. Love and serve God's people.

For working women, the author provides a whole series of questions to ask yourself. They're all really great but I won't list them here.

And finally for this chapter, another favorite quote I included on a blog awhile ago...

I have to say that I am a homebody. Why? Because that's where my husband is, my children were in days gone by, where my home is, and where the preparations required to teach God's word to the women in my church took place for so many years. Because that's where my heart is, was, and ever will be.

CHAPTER 10: Making Time for Fun
* Realize that joy must begin in your heart.
* Realize the ultimate source of joy is the Lord!

• Purposefully rejoice each day. Ps. 118:24
• Purposefully play music--"music lifts the soul and turns a persons thoughts and emotions toward God. Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs will cause you to sing and make melody in your heart to the Lord."
• Purposefully put on a smile.

CHAPTER 11: Serving the Lord

3 Lifetime Goals written by the author that I just LOVE and am adopting as my own:

1. To be a growing woman of God.
2. To be a supportive and encouraging wife and mother.
3. To teach the Bible so that women's lives are changed.

3 Principles for a Wife's Ministry:

1. Serve those at home first.
2. Serve with your husband's blessing and support.
3. Serve however you can.

CHAPTER 12: Reaching Out to Others
Somewhere a long time ago I heard the quote "Preach the gospel and if necessary, use words." Something like that anyway. Well, Elizabeth George provides another great quote with the same message: "Living a lovely life preaches a louder and lovelier message than your lips could ever proclaim."