Reflections on yesterday...Yesterday Kevin and I started a new project at our place and worked on putting new screen doors in the back. Working on projects can certainly be a breeding ground for arguments, as we usually have different ideas on how things should be done. I thought we should paint the doors first and then put them up, but Kevin thought we should put them up first and then paint them. In the end, he's the one who gets to decide and when he made the final call to put them up first, that's what we did, and I made no further comments. It was good for us to share in that teamwork. We work well together, but we haven't had many "projects" in quite awhile since we're just renting. When there is something to fix, the landlord usually just lets us do it ourselves and then we send her the bill. So it's kind of fun for us, because we miss having a house (we're at this location for only 2 years so we're renting again) and having our own things to work on. At the end of the day, I praised Kevin for going to work and then coming home and doing this project and then going to a church softball game. What a long day for him! And today it will be much of the same, minus the softball game! What a hard worker! I'm looking forward to Father's Day this weekend and doing specific things just for him, to show him how much I love and appreciate him.
30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge
By Nancy Leigh DeMoss
June 12--DAY 12
"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2
Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?
Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.
How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.
I know I'm not perfect and as a woman I can't help but have expectations at times, but I try hard to made my expectations clear to my husband. Not by saying, "You need to do this." But if I want him to do chores, I leave him a list. If I want him to do romantic things (he is not a romantic), I leave him a list of things that are loving to me or I create the romantic evening. If my birthday is coming up, I give him some ideas of things I might like. I may be spoiling surprise, but at least I'm not creating the unrealistic expectation that he'll go inside my mind and know exactly what my desires are. It took the first year of marriage to realize all this, to learn to not have unrealistic expectations. I am a woman and a dreamer and can easily get carried away with my ideas. But this is reality and I want to show my husband joy and appreciation, not disappointment and frustration, so I have to be realistic in my expectations, and this is what works for us.
I also wanted to comment on the last few sentences of today's challenge... "How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes." I was just thinking the other day how I am a people pleaser and would never say anything negative to anyone else. Yet to my very own husband, the man who walks by my side through all of life, who loves and cherishes me, who is the father of my beautiful son, to him I so carelessly use my words?! I was so sad when I realized this about myself, but also so encouraged to do better. And that, my friends, is what this challenge is all about.
If you're doing the challenge today, leave your link below, so we can visit your page and share in your thoughts! And if you don't have a blog, just leave some thoughts in the comments section (under "Other" or "Annonymous"). Happy Tuesday!
Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?
Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.
How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.
I know I'm not perfect and as a woman I can't help but have expectations at times, but I try hard to made my expectations clear to my husband. Not by saying, "You need to do this." But if I want him to do chores, I leave him a list. If I want him to do romantic things (he is not a romantic), I leave him a list of things that are loving to me or I create the romantic evening. If my birthday is coming up, I give him some ideas of things I might like. I may be spoiling surprise, but at least I'm not creating the unrealistic expectation that he'll go inside my mind and know exactly what my desires are. It took the first year of marriage to realize all this, to learn to not have unrealistic expectations. I am a woman and a dreamer and can easily get carried away with my ideas. But this is reality and I want to show my husband joy and appreciation, not disappointment and frustration, so I have to be realistic in my expectations, and this is what works for us.
I also wanted to comment on the last few sentences of today's challenge... "How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes." I was just thinking the other day how I am a people pleaser and would never say anything negative to anyone else. Yet to my very own husband, the man who walks by my side through all of life, who loves and cherishes me, who is the father of my beautiful son, to him I so carelessly use my words?! I was so sad when I realized this about myself, but also so encouraged to do better. And that, my friends, is what this challenge is all about.
If you're doing the challenge today, leave your link below, so we can visit your page and share in your thoughts! And if you don't have a blog, just leave some thoughts in the comments section (under "Other" or "Annonymous"). Happy Tuesday!
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