So when we found out we were pregnant with our third child we thought we'd let this baby's gender remain a surprise until delivery. But as that 20-week ultrasound gets closer I'm changing my mind! I want to know what we're having! Last week when I was shopping for Hannah and Eli's fall/winter wardrobes I kept wishing I could pick out a little something for the baby too. And it reminded me that it's those little things I enjoy so much when preparing for a baby's arrival. We found out gender with both Eli and Hannah, mostly for planning purposes so we'd know we had the right clothes, but even this time when that doesn't matter as much, I still want to know. I guess I just feel more bonded with the baby when I do little things for him/her that includes it as part of the family even now, even if it's a small something. I would maybe like to make a special blanket for it, but I know afterwards I really won't have so much time. I usually buy everything used for the kids but for each one I've gone and picked out one special new outfit, just for fun. And it will be fun to know which child the baby will be sharing a room with so we can start figuring out dresser storage stuff. And like I said, after Baby arrives we won't have as much free time. So what do you think? If you've found out gender with your babies, what were your reasons? And if you've left it a surprise, how did you do it?
It only took will power for the 45 minutes that the ultrasound took :) We love the (extended) surprise because it A) gave me motivation to push B)helped me not be disappointed because when I saw the baby I was overjoyed and didn't care that neither of them weren't girls and C)it's really fun to try to guess and have NO CLUE if you're right or not and D) it's one of the few last surprises we get to have in a world that demands immediate gratification. We think it's fun to wait but we like it when our friends find out :) Haha! But I still think you should wait because it's just really super fun to hear the doctor say, "It's a _____." Seriously, there is a lot of anticipation for what they are going to say and it's really exciting!
ReplyDeleteWe were going to wait and have it be a surprise, but I had lots of complications with my pregnancy and therefore, lots of ultrasounds, and after like the seventh one, I just couldn't stand it any longer. Plus, I am such a planner and organizer....it was literally driving me crazy! When we finally found out, I felt such a better connection / bond with my daughter, and I felt I could pray better for HER during the rough times on bed rest. I am just the type of person who has to know! (My husband never wanted to know and only in the last few weeks did he find out....on accident.)
ReplyDeleteWe aren't finding out =) I've heard the "moment" where you hear "It's a _______!" is just incredible! I understand why some people do find out though.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't find out. We both wanted to be surprised. It feels like everyone wants to find out and feels they have to know just as soon as they can, and we just wanted to be different and wait! We were really excited to wait. It was really special to hear the doctor say It's a boy! We didn't tell his name either until he was born. When we had the ultrasound we told him we didn't want to know so he told us turn our heads. When we left he handed us our pictures and said I don't think I printed off any with any boy parts or girl parts showing and laughed. So I always wondered if he said that on purpose because we had a boy or was just being silly.
ReplyDeleteI can see why lots of people dont want to find out. We found out with all three, for alot of the same reasons that you are thinking of. So I could buy one new outfit, the bedding, the diaper bag, blankets, all that. We also found out so we could pray for the baby and feel closer to them. There are alot of benefits to finding out, and to not. Whatever you decide will be what is best for your family.....I pray that the pregnancy is going well and that you are feeling well...
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Crystal
Hi Sarah!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from two experiences where we did not find out, I can say that we went through some of the same feelings that you are right now - wanting to plan for the gender, being able to definitively set a name, not to mention thinking about making a stronger connection with the baby. When it got right down to it, the strongest reason we did not find out was because of what another commenter had said as well - being able to have that "surprise" - one of the few true surprises left in life. I am very much a "Type A" person, and not knowing did give me some moments of angst, but I would have to say that I did not end up feeling less connected to the babies because we did not know the gender, in some ways, it made me feel more connected. It sounds weird, but somehow, not knowing and having that anticipation especially kept me going through the rough times I had at the end of the pregnancies (i.e. - bed rest, being uncomfortable, etc.) - in addition to having an "extra" motivation to push! Either way you go, I don't think you're wrong - you have an added benefit of being able to be prepared for either boy or girl, so it may give you an opportunity to feel somewhat prepared without knowing. As part of creating a bond with his/her brother and sister, Kevin could maybe even take the kids to get something for the new baby once he/she arrives - double bonus for having the kids have a special activity plus some nice "downtime" for you and the baby! God Bless you and your family as you continue on the wonderful journey of pregnancy!
I find out. Always have, probably always will. I love the planning advantage, plus I like to start using the baby's name, etc, sooner.
ReplyDeleteWe have a good friend who says it ruins the surprise. For me, I don't buy it. ;) I say one is finding out sooner-"surprise, it's a..." at the u/s, and the other is finding out later, only w/o the u/s just the actual baby. LOL
It's enjoyable no matter what.
I hope you find out so we can find out, too. :) (on your blog)
Sarah -
ReplyDeleteI found out with both my boys that I was having a boy... Before I was pregnant the first time, I always thought I'd never want to know. But with Isaiah - Mark was gone and I NEEDED something to focus on (his nursery, clothes, etc) so I decided to find out. With Levi, we were so excited and Mark was so happy to be here to experience it that we found out again - maybe hoping we'd see a little girl! But we couldn't be happier that it was a little boy...If we decide to have a third, I'm sure we'll find out again - just because we don't have a single PINK thing in our house!! :)
But - you having one of each - I think it would be really amazing to be surprised! Go out and buy a brand new pink outfit and a blue outfit and keep the receipts...
Just like someone said though - whether you find out at the ultrasound, or find out at the birth - it's a surprise...
I'm excited to see what you decide to do!!
Alisha
We found out with Xander, but it was our first baby - so we knew we couldn't wait until the end to find out. We'll probably find out the next time as well, but maybe not after that. It was fun for us to know, and we kept the name a complete secret, so although we knew, none of our friends or family did, and it was really fun and exciting for us to announce the name when he arrived. I've always thought it'd be fun to wait and not find out the sex, but I know that at least right now, I don't have that kind of willpower!
ReplyDeleteHey sweetie!!
ReplyDeleteWe found out with all three (as you already know) because I am a planner and I NEEDED to know!! :)
Seriously, with 3, it will be more difficult to do special things for the baby after the arrival. So, my reasoning was that I would focus on as much as possible before the baby arrived as I wouldn't have much time afterward, and to do that, I needed to know what we were having!! Also, I LOVED knowing if I was carrying a boy or a girl and we named the baby as soon as we found out. The first name anyway. I loved praying for the children by their names and talking to them and about them using their names. It was such a special time for us to bond with our baby.
But, either way has it's good points and I don't think you will regret either one! However, 20 more weeks is a VERY long time to wait if you are already weakening! :)
Love you!!
I am just going to ditto what Angie said. SOooo worth it, and so fun. I have never been so surprised in my life, and infant clothes are so easy to come by, you'll be fine!! Do it! I dare you :o)
ReplyDeleteYeah! We're so excited for you two. You and Kevin are a great team and we can't wait for little Groth #3 to arrive. Seth and I decided to find out the gender at the ultrasound. Our reasoning was mostly because we knew we'd be moving far far away fairly soon after the baby was born and wanted our families to be able to start bonding with Baby Clarkson (now known as little Miss Eden Clarkson). For the next one- who knows what we'll do. I think I'd kind of like to wait to find out to see what that's like to be surprised. What a blessing this little one will be!
ReplyDeletejust a clarification of my note above- the little blessing I was referring to was Baby Groth #3.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't find out with our first two- even though I REALLY wanted to with number 2! With the first we bought a boy outfit and a girl outfit, and then bought gender neutral stuff until we knew we had a girl. With our second we did the same thing. With number 3 we decided to find out because we had such complications with number 2 and baby boys are at higher risks with premature delivery so we decided to rule on the side of caution!
ReplyDeleteBut if you like surprises... just once enjoy that surprise because it is amazing! (But knowing doesn't make it any less amazing does it??!?! It's always amazing when they're finally here!)
We have a boy and a girl (in that order) and I was thinking that it would be nice to be surprised this time(we found out with the other two). BUT my hubby wanted to know and insisted that I would go crazy if I didn't know. Then my two kids were adamant that they wanted only a boy. I also went through their clothes (all bazzilion boxes, or so it seemed) and thought that if I knew, I could pass along some of these clothes to someone who needed them now, or take them to the consignment shop to earn $ towards anything else we needed.
ReplyDeleteSo we found out we are having a boy and the kiddos think we ordered it just for them. I still kinda would like to be surprised, but there's so much going on at birth, why not spread out some of the surprise just a little early. I too think it has helped me bond with the baby already.
Now if we could think of a name that we love...