One week.

Carter is 1 week old today! In short, this is how I would describe how it's been...

It's been wonderful
and hard
at the same time.
I'm in love
with my little boy.
I'm tired.
And crabby.
Carter is a little jaundiced.
And has to be hooked up to a machine.
All.
Day.
Long.
I'm tired of the machine.
But thankful for the machine.
So glad it's not a "tanning bed" kind.
Hoping his levels come back better today.
I've been beyond engorged this week
but am finally almost back to normal.
Almost.
I feel really great.
Haven't taken any medicine since delivery.
Sqeeeeeezed my way into pre-pregnancy jeans yesterday.
We finally took down our Christmas tree.
Kevin found a snake skin in the basement.
I'm terrified.
Kevin's going back to work today.
Tonight.
Which means
I'll have the kids all day (while he sleeps)
AND all night (while he works).
The kids are excellent big siblings.
Hannah thinks Carter is "her baby".
It's super cute.
Carter sleeps all day long.
On the couch hooked up to his machine.
But yesterday
he was finally alert for two long periods
of the day.
He's such a sweet boy.
I totally adore him.
But I remembered all too quickly
how much I hate
night feedings.
I can't stay awake
to keep Carter awake.
I fall asleep sitting up
and wake an hour later
and have no idea if the baby even ate.
I lay him down anyway
and snuggle in my bed
and a minute later
he wakes up again.
And we start all over.
How do you stay awake for night feedings?
Have I mentioned that I'm tired?
And that all the kids' noises
all day long
make my head ring.
I nap when I can though.
And I remember that
in just one week
we'll probably have a whole different story.