I've had two good days now with a much better attitude toward the kids. I've been calm, and they've been calm. Really, I think much of their behavior has so much to do with how I'm responding to them throughout the day.
After many of your emails and suggestions {thank you guys for your all your encouragement!! you're great} I'm trying some new things with our parenting....
Eli reacts in tears about EVERYTHING. If his blankets aren't on right, if his door isn't open ALL THE WAY at night, if something breaks, if he can't get his shoes on right, if he pees his pants, if Hannah starts playing with a toy he wasn't recently playing with, if he's having troubles with a toy, etc etc etc. His first reaction is to cry and then talk while he's crying. It's ugly and irritating. But lately instead of saying the same things I say all day long, like "use your words" "talk in a nice voice" blah, blah, blah, I just say "I don't listen to crying" and ignore him until he starts using a nice voice. It's seeming to work faster and more effectively than me trying to tell him to stop {when he should be asking for help}. We'll see.
Instead of just rushing the kids off to nap as I sometimes do, I'm going to try having them playing independently in their rooms for about 15 minutes and then I come in and read a book or two individually with each of them before tucking them in. Gives them so one-on-one time with me and hopefully encourages them to wind down before sleepytime. THEN I'm going to try not stressing about whether they're sleeping or not. They must stay in their beds, but if they're still not sleeping after 45 minutes I can bring in some books for them to look at for the remainder of their "rest time".
So that's that on the parenting front.
Yesterday Eli and I visited preschool for the morning, 9-11:30am. It's a Lutheran preschool and all very Bible based. He was SO EXCITED all morning, and in the van on the way there, he said, "Oh Mom! I forgot my backpack!" haha The kids have little backpacks they play with at home and all the time pretend they're "going to school". It's cute! Obviously he didn't need his backpack, but it was so cute that he was thinking of it! He did pretty well throughout our visit. He was very shy and for much of the time clung to me, mostly for the large-group activities like songs time where they were playing instruments and dancing around. But the other times he got right in there and played and he stood in line right with the rest of them for a drink at the water fountain and for wash time, he sat at the table for snacks, and at the end of the day during book time he was excitedly sharing answers about butterflies. It was cute to watch him settle in throughout the 2.5 hours. We were observing the 4-yr old class since that's what he'll be going into next year, and now at the of this year all those kids are 5 and 6 already. I was pretty amazed to see the difference in behavior! All the kids were so good! {based on just yesterday's visit} there were no tears, no fits, no fighting! The kids just did whatever the teacher told them to! And they were so nice to Eli too! I heard one little boy say early in the morning when Eli was still being so quiet, "He doesn't talk yet. He's still a baby." haha! They'd ask him to play with him or say to each other "I think he's really scared." It was cute. I'm excited for Eli! I think he'll settle in nicely the more he gets used to it. I'm still a little uncertain about whether we should homeschool or not after that But we're going to take one year at a time, and for next year I think it'll be good for him in helping him gain confidence in social situations and learn how to play with others {who aren't his own sibling}. It'll be fun to see how it goes.
I'm also excited that my order arrived yesterday I'm starting AdvoCare products today in attempts to help me lose this baby weight QUICKLY since I fit in hardly any of my regular clothes at this point and refuse to buy bigger sizes. I don't have time to work out as much I would need to for rapid results, and because I'm nursing I can't crash diet either. So I'm trying this. Another friend of mine sells this and she's nursing too, so it's all safe and healthy. I'll let you know how it works for me!
I've gotten out my ol' guitar again lately and have been enjoying playing. And since we live in the country I can play out on the porch and not be embarrassed. I'm not that good. I can only play in two keys, I think. D and G. But most songs can be found in those keys or I can transpose them so they are. All in all it's fun and worshipful to play.
Yesterday was cold (39 degrees), cloudy, and light rain, but today is sunny and in the 60s again. It's beautiful out and I'm excited for a new day!
But also today I'll be praying for...
~ my friend Kathy who's 4-month old daughter Nora is having tubes put in her ears.
~ the family and friends of our old friend who committed suicide last week. the funeral is today.
~ my friend Angie and hoping she has her baby SOON!!!! =)
Enjoy your day, friends! And share with me, what's in your mind lately??
After many of your emails and suggestions {thank you guys for your all your encouragement!! you're great} I'm trying some new things with our parenting....
Eli reacts in tears about EVERYTHING. If his blankets aren't on right, if his door isn't open ALL THE WAY at night, if something breaks, if he can't get his shoes on right, if he pees his pants, if Hannah starts playing with a toy he wasn't recently playing with, if he's having troubles with a toy, etc etc etc. His first reaction is to cry and then talk while he's crying. It's ugly and irritating. But lately instead of saying the same things I say all day long, like "use your words" "talk in a nice voice" blah, blah, blah, I just say "I don't listen to crying" and ignore him until he starts using a nice voice. It's seeming to work faster and more effectively than me trying to tell him to stop {when he should be asking for help}. We'll see.
Instead of just rushing the kids off to nap as I sometimes do, I'm going to try having them playing independently in their rooms for about 15 minutes and then I come in and read a book or two individually with each of them before tucking them in. Gives them so one-on-one time with me and hopefully encourages them to wind down before sleepytime. THEN I'm going to try not stressing about whether they're sleeping or not. They must stay in their beds, but if they're still not sleeping after 45 minutes I can bring in some books for them to look at for the remainder of their "rest time".
So that's that on the parenting front.
Yesterday Eli and I visited preschool for the morning, 9-11:30am. It's a Lutheran preschool and all very Bible based. He was SO EXCITED all morning, and in the van on the way there, he said, "Oh Mom! I forgot my backpack!" haha The kids have little backpacks they play with at home and all the time pretend they're "going to school". It's cute! Obviously he didn't need his backpack, but it was so cute that he was thinking of it! He did pretty well throughout our visit. He was very shy and for much of the time clung to me, mostly for the large-group activities like songs time where they were playing instruments and dancing around. But the other times he got right in there and played and he stood in line right with the rest of them for a drink at the water fountain and for wash time, he sat at the table for snacks, and at the end of the day during book time he was excitedly sharing answers about butterflies. It was cute to watch him settle in throughout the 2.5 hours. We were observing the 4-yr old class since that's what he'll be going into next year, and now at the of this year all those kids are 5 and 6 already. I was pretty amazed to see the difference in behavior! All the kids were so good! {based on just yesterday's visit} there were no tears, no fits, no fighting! The kids just did whatever the teacher told them to! And they were so nice to Eli too! I heard one little boy say early in the morning when Eli was still being so quiet, "He doesn't talk yet. He's still a baby." haha! They'd ask him to play with him or say to each other "I think he's really scared." It was cute. I'm excited for Eli! I think he'll settle in nicely the more he gets used to it. I'm still a little uncertain about whether we should homeschool or not after that But we're going to take one year at a time, and for next year I think it'll be good for him in helping him gain confidence in social situations and learn how to play with others {who aren't his own sibling}. It'll be fun to see how it goes.
I'm also excited that my order arrived yesterday I'm starting AdvoCare products today in attempts to help me lose this baby weight QUICKLY since I fit in hardly any of my regular clothes at this point and refuse to buy bigger sizes. I don't have time to work out as much I would need to for rapid results, and because I'm nursing I can't crash diet either. So I'm trying this. Another friend of mine sells this and she's nursing too, so it's all safe and healthy. I'll let you know how it works for me!
I've gotten out my ol' guitar again lately and have been enjoying playing. And since we live in the country I can play out on the porch and not be embarrassed. I'm not that good. I can only play in two keys, I think. D and G. But most songs can be found in those keys or I can transpose them so they are. All in all it's fun and worshipful to play.
Yesterday was cold (39 degrees), cloudy, and light rain, but today is sunny and in the 60s again. It's beautiful out and I'm excited for a new day!
But also today I'll be praying for...
~ my friend Kathy who's 4-month old daughter Nora is having tubes put in her ears.
~ the family and friends of our old friend who committed suicide last week. the funeral is today.
~ my friend Angie and hoping she has her baby SOON!!!! =)
Enjoy your day, friends! And share with me, what's in your mind lately??
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that it is better for you! I have been staying mostly off of the computer lately...just getting on to check on certain friends :) But reading all of your other post, and comments, I agree that this too shall pass....I so remember the early days of having 3...I would love to say that it got better quick for me...but it did not...but I wouldn't trade it for anything, its all learning experiences...and it sounds like you have learned and are dealing very well...You have pinpointed some problems and are fixing them. One thing I discovered, alot of my kids mood swings...was my husbands work schedule..we went through so many changes in that first year after Jason was born (in addition to having moved right before he was born) I noticed that the slightest shift in our schedule, and they were either in tears all the time or mad and throwing fits...So I started coming up with things to do when a shift was coming..we would have a cookie bake, or an extra library trip, or got to the Dollar Store and pick out 1 toy...Just something to help them distract a little bit and usually after our special day, they were fine...but if we didnt have a special day and we had a shift...the next week or so was horrible...
Sorry for the long comment, just an idea I wanted to share...
I will keep you in my prayers that things keep going well!
Blessings
Crystal
Hey sweetie! You sound so great today!! Like I said in my email, Eli will be fine, because you are his wonderful capable mother! Your children are so truly BLESSED to have a mother who cares so much and so deeply for their well being! I am proud of you, girl!! And, just wanted to say, that's so cute about Eli and his backpack! Claire is so excited whenever we go to homeschool group! She always has to take her backpack for some reason even though we don't use it for anything but toys and treasures! The little girls in our group are always comparing what the other one brought to play with and switching toys! lol So cute!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, please know that I am continuing to pray for you and your sweet little family. You just keep doing the very best you can and God is always faithful to fill in our gaps! I speak from experience on that one! (And, my sister has some great ideas in her comment!)
Love you!
sounds like you're doing good, mama! I'm proud of you. I know how hard it can be some days with only 2 and here you have 3. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you've been refreshed. When my daughter was about 3 we dealt with the "crying over everything" phase. I thought I was going to lose my mind! We started talking about self-contol at that point as well as some other fruits of the spirit. I know she only understood bits and pieces at that point. But now that she's five it has totally paid off and she gets what self-control is all about. And what a great lesson for all of life ahead for her! (and me!)
ReplyDelete