This week I started reading our ladies Bible study book, No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idols by Kelly Winter. And boy, it's not taking long to feel convicted of an area of sin I was already aware of to begin with. And if that wasn't enough, everywhere I turn, I see it again. I just went over to favorite photographer Tara Whitney's blog to check out some family photos and get inspiration before doing a photoshoot for a friend tomorrow, and there it was again, as she shares:
"It's just all too easy. It's too easy to get sucked in, caring about things I don't need to be caring about. It's too easy for me to avoid the things that are truly important to me with stupid time sucks.... But I find myself spending too much time reading the words of a lot of people I don't know, and some that I don't even like. Because it's so easy to do. Because there are things to procrastinate. Or there are people who I know that read them, and so I think I need to as well, in order to keep up. I mean, hey, I don't want to miss out. WHAT IF I MISS SOMETHING REALLY GREAT?!"
Facebook. It sucks me in like nobody's business. I'm a person with great compassion. I CARE about you, I really truly care. I want to know your woes so I can encourage you with kind words. I don't care if you're my best friend, someone I know from the past, or someone I just met, I still CARE. If you have a question, I want to answer. If you share a blessing, I want to rejoice with you. If you share something funny, I want to laugh with you. If you need prayer, I will pray. I want you to know I'm there with you, no matter what journey you're on. You're not alone. You matter. And I care. And I want you to know it.
And so. I compulsively check for updates at least hourly all throughout the day. And during high times--mornings and evenings--it's even more so. It's on my mind always. YOU'RE on my mind. When we're in the car. When I'm watching a movie with my hubby. When I'm sitting waiting for the school bus.
I don't know if it's because I stay home all day and virtually see no one except my own children and I'm CRAVING that social outlet. I don't know if it's because I'm bored. I don't really know.
I just know how I AM. And I know it's consuming me, stealing my thoughts, my time, my day.
You see, it's not Facebook itself. All the reasons stated above of why I like it are actually a good thing. It's just the need to find balance, to maintain self-control that leaves me struggling.
Kelly Winter writes, "Most of us think of an idol as a statue of wood, stone, or metal worshiped by pagan people... In biblical terms, it is something other than God that we set our hearts on (Luke 12:29), that motivates us (1 Cor. 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps. 119:133), or that we trust, fear, or serve. (Isa. 42:17; Matt. 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)" She also includes a definition that says, "It may well come in the form of an overattachment to something that is, in itself, perfectly good." And as John Calvin put it, "The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."
So there it is. My idol. Facebook. It seems sooo ridiculous. But for me, that's what it is. Really.
Part 2 I'll share what I'm going to do about it, and how to establish and carry out limits for myself.
But for today, I'll just ask, What is your idol?
The Internet in general is a huge problem for me. I decided when my daughter was 18 months old....and walking around the house unattended and getting hurt....I decided to cancel Facebook and I had just created the account. I was immediately sucked in and hooked in the first hour. I knew it was going to become a huge problem so I just deleted the account. Another problem is reading other's blogs. I see what they are doing and sometimes see how my life and "things" are measuring up to theirs. It can create jealousy if not careful. Jealous of their homes, talents, anything...
ReplyDeleteHome decorating magazines are also one of my weaknesses. Makes me want to spend tons of money and makes me feel like my home isn't as good as....
Signed,
A faithful reader and mother in Texas..
Dear Anonymous, thank you for sharing your struggles. Unless I know someone personally, I've pretty much backed off of blog browsing. It is just endless out there, and SO MANY great people and great stories and great ideas. I'll pop around occasionally but it was just impossible to keep up, even with "readers" programs. As for magazines, that's one reason I just don't shop very often, even just window shopping. It makes me want things. Plain and simple. And I don't like that. Makes me feel discontent with the clothes or home that we have. I don't think I'll ever just QUIT Facebook, but I do hope I can limit it to morning-afternoon-evening checks or something. It's there that I found out my aunt has cancer, it's there where I hear when a friend's baby is born, it's there where I hear someone is in the hospital, it's there where we can share pictures from one home to another, etc. Anyway, thanks for leaving me a comment today and letting me know you're out there! Blessings on your day!
ReplyDeleteUnderstood. I'm the same way with Facebook. I'm learning to be better about how I spend my time, but I really have to be diligent or else I will sit there and read and read and read and virtually ignore my children.
ReplyDeleteI too very much struggle with Facebook. It is very much on my mind constantly. It is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing in the evening and checking it on my phone throughout the day! It is just a place where I feel connected with my friends (old, new) and acquaintances. It is a place where one can share good times and not so good times... Get opinions or just vent. It is a way to help others too when they need it... It seems to be the "in" thing right now and I think it has consumed us all. I have got off before and have considered deleting again but how will I keep in touch? I will feel so disconnected from the world!!! People rarely email anymore and phone calls are just random. It IS my social outlet for now esp. in my situation. How can a good thing like FB but such a destructive thing too as the same time?? If you come up with a solution please so share!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, I feel like I could have written this post myself. Facebook is CONSTANT for me. It was bad enough before I got a phone that had it on so I could check it whenever i darn well-please... in the car, on the toilet, even during nursing sessions in the middle of the night (nothing really happens then on facebook in case you're wondering). Not only is it facebook, but it is the laptop and web-surfing in general. I worry about when Soren starts crawling and walking and how hard it will be to have to 'give it up' at times to ensure he remains safe. I am also guilty of putting my happy, cooing baby in the swing so I can web-surf when I should be interacting with him like I dreamed of doing for so long. Thanks for the eye-opener and the inspiration to address my idols.
ReplyDeleteFB is my idol too, for the same reasons as you. I've decided that when our internet is back on, and school starts again I will limit my computer use to 15 min in the morning before kids are up, 15 min in the afternoon during quiet time and then no more until after kids are in bed. I need to gain control and stop letting it control me. And my kids are growing up thinking Mom is always attached to the computer which is NOT how I want them to remember me!
ReplyDeleteI like to make myself a list, and then when I've done the things I must and should do, then I allow myself time to peruse FB and the blogs I like to read. If I haven't done my list, then I don't get to check FB or blogs. I love it for it's ease in connecting and staying in touch with others - either through occasional posts, or being able to check up on folks to celebrate or pray, etc. Like when Carter had the bee stings, I just left your page open the whole time. And when Tate was in the hospital, seeing posts from you and others to let me know that Tate was getting prayers meant so much to me, even if I didn't see them until days later sometimes.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I think that for most SAHMs that Facebook is an addiction. I know for me, it is. Your story above, could have well been written by me or many of the other moms I know. I struggle with letting it go too, but then find myself drawn back into it within minutes. BUT, I love how it keeps me connected with people who, like you, I would never "know" if it weren't for FB. Moderation is key, and I haven't quite figured that out yet. :(
ReplyDeleteI feel this way about the internet in general. I spend way too much time on it some days, and then other days hardly any at all. And the days I'm not on it as much I obviously get more done. I started last week setting a timer like FlyLady suggests. I get to spend 20-30 minutes online and then when the timer goes off I have to get off and do something (clean, laundry, play with the boys, prepare lunch or dinner, etc.) and I can't get on until I've accomplished x number of things. It works well (when I remember to do it) so I think I might have found my solution. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I won't have to set the timer anymore. Good luck to you! i can't wait to hear what you are going to do about your Facebook "addiction"!
ReplyDeleteMy idol: reading. Reading anything. Books especially, but also blogs, email, etc. It can keep me from getting work done at work and work done at home. Sometimes I find myself getting angry at my kiddos b/c I just want to read something "really quick" and their at my feet begging for something. Then later I'll realize what I've done a feel totally rotten. It is just something I have to be constantly aware of and always monitoring which is really tough so of course I revert back to bad habits way too often for my likes. But I keep working on it...
ReplyDeleteYou are most definitely not alone my friend. I've contemplated just giving up FB and blogging for that matter all together. It's an additional and not b/c it is FB or that I want all the nitty gritty details about others lives or that they are sitting at Olive Garden eating spagetti, but it's just as you said. The need to know how people are feeling or doing or what may be happening in others lives in the world where writing a letter or even an email has become non-existent. Instead of sending pictures in our Christmas cards now from a snippet of the year, we as humans feel the need for that instant gratification, what is happening in the NOW. I hate it, but too have lost control of how to fix the problem. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg. Do I do it b/c I'm bored or need to know... or do I stop posting myself and thus will stop worrying about what others will post. When you figure it out, let me know! :)
ReplyDeleteI've actually read and seen on 20/20 and those Dateline type of shows that it will definitely effect our future as humans who communicate and our children who think they are 2nd best to a electronic.... so that helps me try to begin the baby steps to cutting the ties.