For moms of boys, please help me! What's your take on your kids playing with swords or guns or pretending fighting?? I just don't really like it, the whole pretending to fight, violence in our home, even when it's just play. It doesn't fall into the godly life I'm trying to encourage, but at the same time I'm not very good at knowing when to just let kids be kids or if that's the girl in me that's just not interested in that stuff. We don't have guns or sword toys at our house but the kids are wanting to pretend their umbrellas are swords. So anyway, what's your take on the matter?? What do you do?
Great topic!
ReplyDeleteI used to be against them for the reasons you mentioned, but ...
I changed my position. Having two boys, I noticed, like you, they gravitate to this anyway. Why is that? Is it sinful nature, or is it being boys? My girl only does it when she's trying to play with them, and she certainly has a sinful nature! ;)
I think it's part of their wiring. We've started letting our boys "be boys" because we are raising future protector-providers who just may need to use those skills one day.
I may be completely wrong, though! I'm curious what others will say!
Great discussion Sarah! Growing up we were NEVER allowed to play with guns in our home (the toy kind or real ones, lol!) so I think I just grew up realizing that guns are inherently evil. (Some will disagree with this but that's OK!) My son loves knights and castles so the sword thing doesn't bother me as much, but I do explain to my kids that we never act like we are killing each other or anyone else. This goes against God's commandment not to kill, and that means in our house we don't even pretend to kill someone. They seem to understand this. The hardest part I have found is getting family members to respect this rule and not buy toy guns for our kids. (The only exception I make to the gun rule is water guns because they are really fun and they don't play with them like they are killing people. They're just getting them wet :P) I hope this helps! Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteits absolutely creative play to me.
ReplyDeleteThere is a huge difference between play and real violence.
A child can not teach himself to be violent. It has to be encouraged in other forms.
We are created in the image of God. Meaning our demeanors are in the image of him also. The innocence of a child is pure. I wouldnt worry about a boys creative play. :) or a girls either for that matter.
I agree with Carrie and Jaesi. It's a boys nature to be attracted to rougher types of play. It helps get their aggressions out in a healthy way. We do NOT advocate violence and we don't watch violent films but as long as you make sure that you definitely teach them killing is wrong and why,and to correct them when they get too rough or play something you think is unacceptable, I think they will be fine. Y'all are great parents! I really wouldn't worry about it too much.
ReplyDeleteobviously we aren't to that point here yet but I do have a take on it. I think that boys especially will naturally want to play swords or guns eventually. It's in their nature. They want to protect and defend and, yes, fight. And eventually they'll learn about wars and fighting - it's in the Bible and all over the news.
ReplyDeleteI think as long as they don't hurt one another, they'll be ok. :D
I have to say that a few years ago I was totally against toy guns and swords. Now with two wild boys, I realize that they just want to play rough as a way to express themselves. We do not play with toy guns (we got one for Christmas that just mysteriously disappeared:) but we do play with swords (light savors from star wars). We do not kill with them, we just have sword fights.
ReplyDeleteRecently Mark has been into Nerf guns/Nerf tag/lazer tag type stuff which is guns - we allow the boys to play with this too...because it is about playing tag - not killing.
I agree with the others - it's a way for little boys to be little boys. It helps my kids be creative and have a some fun. And really, they aren't violent when they play, just using their imaginations!
I have come to realize that playing with guns and swords can actually be healthy for a litte boy! Being the protector is in his make-up and directing this desire properly is a good thing!
ReplyDeletewe let our boys play with guns (at first this really went against everything in me!)- mostly ones made from legos, trio blocks, or nerf guns. we teach them that you don't shoot to kill people unless they are the bad guy. I have learned from my husband that soldiers and police officers should be heros and there is nothing wrong with little boys role playing those people! I DO NOT advocate them being all gory with it and honestly they never really have!
oh and another thought... alot of Bible heros were great warriors! David killed Goliath because he was defying the living God and Caleb was also a great soldier... besides others.
I would highly recommend reading "Bringing Up Boys" by Dobson. I wouldn't say this kind of play isn't godly... he is playing how boys play, designed by God. I have to reread that book myself but I think this is completely normal and healthy.
ReplyDeleteI struggled with this with my son as well. We banned them at first and then he would make guns out of lego and sticks! We finally gave it and he knows not to point guns at his sister! (unless she's playing along.) It think it is natural for them. However, We have not given in to violent video games or movies (and my son is almost 12).
ReplyDelete