Currently reading: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I was all about the Let Them movement. Letting other people have their opinions and choices, not wasting my energy trying to force other people to match my expectations, not being weighed down trying to control things I can't control. In essence, being free of burden. And claiming POWER back by choosing peace instead, choosing to steady yourself and detach. It's invigorating! Exciting! New life! Joy!
Until.
I got to the second part: Let Me.
Releasing control is only step one. But THEN, I have to make a choice, do the hard thing, choose and maintain the boundaries, be humble, take responsibility. And that, that's where it gets ugly. That's where I draw the line in the sand. Go back the way I came. Abort mission.
The truth is, "The source of your power is not in managing other people; it's in your response... You're in control of what happens next and that life is more fun and fulfilling when you're not sitting alone in your superiority.
When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people's behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next. What I love about Let Me is that it immediately shows you what you can control. And there's so much you can control: Your attitude... your behavior... your values, your needs, your desires, and what YOU want to do in response to what just happened. It's the opposite of judgement. Let Me is all about self-awareness, compassion, empowerment, and personal responsibility. The more I said Let Them, the more space I had to consider MY role in this situation, and what I wanted to do about it...take responsibility for what I want in life.
I cannot simultaneously choose others and myself. It cannot always be balanced. Too often, one thing is at the detriment of the other. And while Jesus calls us to "die to self", it does NOT mean accepting toxicity as the way of life.
So here I am, at the crux of the movement, wondering,
Am I strong enough to change my ways?
I went on YouTube yesterday morning to look up a song that related to my Bible study lesson I had just read. But instead God had a message He wanted me to hear because it was right on the home screen. This is a sermon by Steven Furtick, "God Knows You Need a New Path". It was so good I started dictating it all into my phone so I could have it to keep and reread. This is just the first 10ish minutes of a 35-minute sermon. SO POWERFUL.
"We want change but don’t want to leave what’s familiar. Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s still for you. Just because it’s good in one season doesn’t mean it’s God‘s best for this season. I know it’s scary to let go. I know it’s hard to walk into the unknown but what if the thing you are holding onto is the very thing keeping you from God’s next for your life. Isaiah 4:19 says ‘behold I am doing a new thing, now it Springs forth, do you not perceive it?’ God is saying I am already making a way, you just have to perceive it. The path is opening. But if you are too busy looking back you will miss what is ahead.
Stop praying for direction while holding on to dead weight. You’ve been asking God for a sign but the truth is, he’s already been speaking, he’s been closing doors, he’s been stirring your spirit, he’s been making you uncomfortable not to punish you but to position you because you can’t step into a new thing with an old mindset. You can’t walk a new path if you’re still dragging the baggage of the last season. You have to trust that if God is leading you to a new path, it’s because he has already prepared the way.
So what’s your step today? Is it leaving that toxic relationship? Is it walking away from a job that no longer aligns with your purpose? Is it finally stepping out on that dream that God planted in your heart? whatever it is, walk. Walk, even when you don’t have all the answers. Walk, even when you feel unqualified. Walk, even when fear tries to hold you back. because when you walk in obedience, God walks with you.
The path may be new to you but it’s not new to him. And if God is the one leading you, you won’t just survive you’ll thrive. God knows you need a new path before you do. That means before you ever felt stuck, before you ever question whether this road was the right one. Before you ever experienced the frustration of whether you’ve outgrown where you are, God already saw it coming, he already knew the season would shift. he already knew you would reach a point where the old way wouldn’t work anymore. You might be surprised by the circumstances in your life but God isn’t. You might be confused about what’s next but God isn’t. He sees what you can’t see, He knows what you don’t know, and even when you don’t realize you need a new path He is already preparing one.
There’s something about human nature that makes us resistant to change. We crave stability, comfort, and familiarity even when it’s no longer good for us. Sometimes we stay in places we’ve outgrown because leaving is too uncertain. We stay in relationships that no longer bring us peace because we’re afraid of loneliness. We keep working in jobs that drain us because stepping out in faith feels too risky but God doesn’t operate according to our comfort zones. He operates according to His purpose and when God sees that the place you’re in is no longer aligned with His purpose for your life He starts shifting things, He starts unsettling you, He starts making what used to work feel like it’s no longer enough.
Have you ever noticed that sometimes the first sign that you need a new path isn't a door opening but a door closing. Sometimes God doesn't show you the next step until you’re willing to let go of the last one. And that can feel scary, it can feel like you’re losing control, it can feel like you’re wandering without direction. But what if that frustration you feel is actually divine. What if God is actually allowing the discomfort because he knows you would never leave on your own. What if he’s making it clear that it’s time for something new and the only thing standing in the way is your fear. We often pray for clarity but what we really want is certainty. We want God to show us every detail of the journey before we take a step. We want to know how everything will work out before we say yes. But God rarely works like that. He asks us to trust Him even when we can’t see the whole picture. He asks us to take steps of faith even when we don’t have all the answers. He asks us to believe that if He is calling us to a new path he has already prepared the way.
Think of Abraham.
You have to be willing to take the first step. You have to be willing to leave what’s comfortable and trust that even when you don’t understand the process God has a plan. Some of the biggest breakthroughs in life come after a season of uncertainty. Some of the biggest blessings come after we finally surrender our plans for God’s. The tension you feel between where you are and where you’re supposed to be isn’t random, it’s not just frustration, it’s a holy nudge, it’s God saying I have more for you. And sometimes he has to shake things up to get your attention. Sometimes he has to allow things to fall apart so you’ll stop trying to hold onto something that was never meant to last.
You weren’t created to stay stuck. You weren’t created to live beneath your purpose. And when God sees that you’ve settled for less than he intended for you He starts calling you higher. That’s why some things don’t feel the same anymore, that’s why the old way of thinking doesn’t satisfy you like you used to. That’s why you’ve been feeling like there’s something more even if you can’t put your finger on it. It’s because God is leading you to some thing greater and He’s not waiting until you’re ready because the truth is you’ll never feel completely ready.
He is leading you now, He’s making a way now, he’s setting things in motion now. Sometimes the first step toward a new path isn’t a major life change, it’s a shift in your mindset. It’s realizing that what you thought was the destination was only a stop along the way. It’s understanding that what worked in one season may not work in the next. It’s embracing the fact that just because something was good for a time doesn’t mean that it’s God‘s best for you now. That’s a hard thing to accept because we want to hold on to what feels safe. We want to stay in places that feel familiar, but faith isn’t about staying, it’s about moving. It’s about following where God leads even when it doesn’t make
sense.
Think about the Israelites, being freed from Egypt only to wander in the wilderness.
What if your frustration right now is actually preparation. What if God is using this in between season to strengthen your faith, to refine your character, to teach you how to depend on him. What if the reason the old path doesn’t feel right anymore is because he’s calling you higher. What if the very thing you’re afraid to let go of is the thing keeping you from stepping into your next level.
God doesn’t wait until you ask for a new path to start making a way. He’s already been working, he’s already been opening doors you don’t even know about yet, he’s already been shifting things behind the scenes, and even when it feels like nothing is happening, trust me God is moving. He is orchestrating every detail, he is aligning people opportunities and divine connections that will be revealed in the right time.
Your responsibility is not to figure everything out, your responsibility is to trust Him, to walk in obedience, even when it doesn’t make sense because the same God who saw this moment coming is the same God who will lead you through it. The same God who knew you needed a new path is the same God who will make a way when there seems to be no way, and if He is calling you forward it’s because there’s something ahead that’s greater than anything you’re leaving behind."
In honor of Valentine's Day this past week, these are a few things that self-love looks like...
Sweaty workouts
Nutrition
When I say that I do have regrets in my life, that's in turn saying that I don't appreciate where I am now in my life. Saying (to Xander and Haven and Justin) that I regret you. Wow. That hurts.
It's time.
To reach a place of acceptance and truly EMBRACE this messy fucking life, and own it. It never would have been the story tale I had been wanting, even if I hadn't messed up. We weren't happy. Kevin and I weren't necessarily meant to be together but in this messy world of free will God still used it for good. He always does. Just like He has in these more recent years of trauma and struggles. He always has a purpose, for good and glory. I need to keep walking thru it. And embrace the whole damn thing.
Today is Valentine's Day, a day of love and embracing. God, as I continue through my day, keep working these thoughts through my head and my heart, and help me to overcome these barriers that are keeping me from accepting the life I have now and reaching a place of ultimate fulfillment and joy.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Would I talk about what led to divorce.
Or how divorce destroyed me.
But that I still somehow, with the grace and strength of God overcame.
But even still somehow for years chose crappy outlets to survive that never ultimately served me.
And that I'm finally FINALLY 8 years later actually breaking free and discovering ME.
What a hellacious journey life is sometimes.
Would I be brave enough?
To write about it.
