Over the weekend I was blessed with a good, long conversation with my friend Angie over the phone. We talked about some areas in which I've been struggling and how I can be more submissive to my husband. Since I can't control my husband, I need to focus on how I can control me. Just like many other couples, finances are the biggest stresser between Kevin and me. And while we were talking I came to the realization that handing the budget over to Kevin would be one of the greatest acts of submission and respect since it's such an area I like to have so much control over. If you've been to my blog at all, it doesn't long to see that I LOVE organizing and planning. I love creating and keeping track of budgets, making schedules and iteneraries, organizing lists, taking notes, and setting goals. It makes me feel in control. BUT....I am not called to be in control. I am called to be a follower and supporter by submitting to my husband's lead.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:21-23
I am to follow my husband, even when I don't feel like it, even when I don't necessarily agree with his decisions....even if it means a setback. God will provide. And I trust Kevin. So here in the area where I desire so much control over our family, I will let go and submit to Kevin's authority. I respect him, and this is one of the greatest, most challenging things I can do, to show him that I love, respect, and support him through all of life.
And to be honest, it's only been a couple days now since this change, but I feel a weight lifted off me. To be relieved from the stress of the budget. We have our automatic transfers to savings each month and as long as we don't go in the red and have to transfer it back (which I no longer have to watch), we're fine. God is going to use this experience and challenge to bless and enrich our marriage.
What's the area that's hardest for you when it comes to submitting to your husband?
And to be honest, it's only been a couple days now since this change, but I feel a weight lifted off me. To be relieved from the stress of the budget. We have our automatic transfers to savings each month and as long as we don't go in the red and have to transfer it back (which I no longer have to watch), we're fine. God is going to use this experience and challenge to bless and enrich our marriage.
What's the area that's hardest for you when it comes to submitting to your husband?
3 comments:
I am so humbled every time I come to your blog--that is a GOOD thing. I really think God works through you for your readers!
I think the hardest part for me is also finances. We have a large debt burden, mostly due to student loans. Yet we see it was where God wanted us to be, as we met there, and it was a great school in line w/ our faith. We had encouragement to pray and go to Church there, instead of pressure to join a sorority or frat. Yet I fret.
We still rent, too. I hate not having control.
What do you do for the stress, may I ask? When there is so much depending on finances, how do you handle letting it go? My problem is (I suppose) is that I mention me getting another p/t job to supplement our income. Your thoughts?
To answer your question...I don't submit to my husband. I feel that the bible verse you quoted was written in a very patriarchal society. My husband and I are equal. He is not in authority over me, and I am not over him...we respect each other equally.
It actually makes me sick to my stomach when women/moms choose to live their lives with the same attitude you have written about.
I do respect, love, and support him through ALL of life without having to take a backseat in our marriage. And, if you are wondering...we are faithful Christians, and I work at a church.
BUT, on the other hand, if this works for you and you are okay with it, so be it!
Personally, I think that the fact that you have figured this out sooo early in your marriage is wonderful. I am ten years older than you and still struggle with these issues. Control issues that is. I really applaud you. You are doing an AWESOME job.
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