The power of positive thinking.

All of today's Love Dare was really good today, so I thought I'd share the whole thing, because everyone can benefit from the power of positive thinking. And honestly, I encourage you to read the whole book, because so far, it's very good!

Day 7: Love believes the best.  "[Love] believes all things, hopes all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7

In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room. It's where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place.

On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like "honest" and "intelligent", or phrases like "diligent worker," "wonderful cook," or "beautiful eyes". They are things you've discovered about your husband or wife that have embedded themselves in your memory. When you think about these things, your appreciation for your spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate.

Most things in the Appreciation Room were likely written in the initial stages of your relationship. You could summarize them as things you liked and respected about your loved one. They were true, honorable, and good. And you spent a great deal of time dwelling on them in this room... before you were married. But you may have found that you don't visit this special room as often as you once did. That's because there is another competing room nearby.

Down another dark corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, an unfortunately you visit there as well. On its walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.

This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband and wife. Their bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions are written in large letters that cover the walls from one end to the other.  If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing things like, "My wife is so selfish," or "My husband can be such a jerk." Or maybe, "I think I married the wrong person."

Some people write very hateful things in this room, where tell-off statements are rehearsed for the next argument. Emotional injuries fester here, adding more scathing remarks to the walls. It's where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness is allowed to spread like a disease. People fall out of love here.

But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room and violent plans are schemed. The more time you spend in this place, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moments you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens with every second that ticks by.

You may say, "But these things are true!" Yes, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room. Everyone fails and has areas of that need growth. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. This is a sad aspect of being human. We have all sinned. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner's failures under a magnifying glass.

Let's get down to the real issue here. Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists.

But we choose not live there.

You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage.

Loves chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, loves makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, loves focuses on the positive.

It's time to start thinking differently. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should ever go in this room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the walls.

It's to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you.

You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not.

Today's assignment was to make a list of positive things about your spouse and a list of negative things.  There is different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the day, pick a positive attribute and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Awakened.

yogurt cups
string cheese
applesauce cups
applesauce squeezies
fruit cups
cookie packs
granola bars
single-serving chips
capri sun pouches
juice boxes
plastic baggies

read: packaging, packaging, packaging

That is the norm of a packed lunch box. We think we're doing better by sending kids with healthy foods, but the truth is it's all processed packaged foods that's killing our world to make and still has junk in it with ingredients we can't pronounce.

I finished reading the book 7:an experimental mutiny against excess and my soul has been awakened. To the realities of our life and the world around us, the social norms, the thoughtless habits we do on a daily basis.  It's disgusting, it's careless, and I want to change. In 7 major areas:

FOOD

.

.

.

 CLOTHES

.

.

.

 POSESSIONS

.

.

.

 MEDIA

.

.

.

WASTE

.

.

.

SPENDING

.

.

.

STRESS

I'm lending out the book right now to friends who are sort of starting a book club with me, so this won't be a full book review including all my favorite quotes I underlined.  But just some thoughts of ways I'm going to try to change...

* This school year I want to stop buying single-serving anything and find a small tackle box sort of thing for serving up lunch food into one container. If I can't find that then we'll try several small bowls and sandwich boxes but no more packaged foods and baggies.

* I hate recycling here but I'm going to try again. With everything. And maybe even read about composting.

* I want to switch to cloth napkins for family use.

* I want to start eating clean and not processed things, that even means cereal. 

* I'm trying the Pinterest trick and turned our clothes hangers backward in the closet so I can tell what things get worn and what things have stayed put for months. We will then purge the extras.

* I want to fast from spending and start living by this rule: If you think you want something, wait a month. One of three things will happen if you follow this sage advice. One: you will forget. Two: you will no longer need it. or Three: you will need it more. Most often numbers one and two will happen.

"Just because I can have it doesn't mean I should." This applies to more than just spending, it applies to food too. As Americans we are impulsive and do things without thought because we live in such bounty. 

"There are a limited number of resources in this world, and when we take more than we need, we are stealing from others."

* I want to search for ways to directly serve the poor. It's sooo not as easy here in small-town Nebraska as it may be in Austin, TX in the heart of a huge city. But "...the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor." It's so much easier to dump off our things at Goodwill and let them sort it all out and leave feeling good about ourselves only so we can go home and buy more things to fill the space.  Surely, there are ways we can still GIVE and actually SERVE, to bridge the gap between us and "them".  The church is so busy holding Bible studies, women's groups, family events, etc etc etc,  and blessing the blessed what do we do to actually live the gospel by serving the least of us?

* I want to, especially on Sabbath, observe the calls to prayer 7 times a day. Such sweet time with the Lord, "an oasis to remember the sacredness of life, who we are, how to offer God the incredible gift of our lives, and learning to be in the midst of so much doing."

Ahhh so much going on inside of me. I am awakened.

Gift List

One of the books I'm currently reading is Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts.  In her attempt to get out of life's darkness, she's challenging herself to complete a list of 1000 things she loves, 1000 things she's thankful for and to view the world in a new brightness. To have a heart of gratitude. Always. In everything.  So I'm taking on this challenge for myself. 1000 is a lot of things. 10 lists of 100! But so I begin.  I begin a life of looking for the beauty in the everyday things we typically pass by without a thought. This is just a beginning. May I never stop looking for these treasures in life...

1. The peeking of the sun as it rises up and gives hope and promise of a new day.

2. A cup of hot tea giving warmth to my soul.

3. A splash of cool, fresh water on my tired face.

4. Wild flowers lining the side of the road.

5. The soft glow of a lamp in the quiet of the evening.

6. Stealing secret kisses in the kitchen.

7. Sleeping children snuggled into their plush blankies.

"And I see it now for what it really is, this dare to write down one thousand things I love. It really is a dare to name all the ways that God loves me. The true Love Dare. To move into His presence and listen to His love unending and know the grace uncontainable. This is the vault of the miracles. The only thing that can change us, the world, is this -- all His love." (59)

8. Bright stars lighting up the night sky.

9. The smell of coffee.

10. The intoxicating scent of men's cologne.

11. The sacred moments of quiet when the house is yet asleep.

12. A soft blanket of warmth resting upon my skin.

13. Passionate desires fulfilled.

14. A glass of wine at the day's end.

15. Lazy, sleepy mornings in cozy pajamas.

16. Warm, homemade bread soggy bread soggy with melted butter.

17. New socks that are so wonderfully soft on my feet it actually makes me moan.

18. Surprise mail from a friend.

19. Waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon.

20. A soft towel warming on the radiator.

21. The fresh smell of clean linen.

22. The brief moment around a table when all heads are bowed.

"Life change comes when we receive life with thanks 
and ask for nothing to change." (61)

23. The gentle rustling of leaves in the autumn breeze.

24. The crackling and popping of a campfire

25. And the firelight dancing across a circle of faces.

26. The deafening sound of summer bugs in the evening.

27. The soothing rhythm of a gentle rain as each droplet meets the ground.

28. A country sunset cascading over golden fields.

29. Feathery soft clouds wisped across a bright blue sky.

30. Sun rays bursting through the clouds, allowing me to see a real touch of God's glory.

31. The soft padding of a child's footsteps coming down the stairs in the morning.

"What if tomorrow you only had the things you thanked God for today?" - Ken Blanchard

To be continued....

{Part 2} Conquering your idol.

Now that I've recognized that Facebook is something of an idol to me, I thought I could just set rules for myself, BE more self-controlled, and conquer this battle on my own.  I'm a list-writer, goal-setter, rule-maker, and I want to be able to do this on my own. 

But the truth is, I can't. 

Seems so silly, really.  I can't get over how something as simple as a social network can really be that dominating over my life. And I hate saying that out loud, but at the same time I'm going to be honest with myself and you.

When it comes to confronting idols, we need a greater Help.  Ask God to take this from you and rely on HIM.

"Having freedom from our idols begins by recognizing our own powerlessness against them. Apart from the power of Christ, we are unable to extricate ourselves from their hold. This is good news if we can accept the truth of our own weakness while accepting the gift of His strength. He will do it." - Kelly Minter, No Other Gods

2 Corinthians 1:9 This happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

And by the way, I do still have "rules" for myself I still haven't yet committed to following:

* Computer checks only in the morning, nap time, and after kids are bed.

* No checking on my phone while watching a movie with Kevin. Avoid temptation by plugging in my phone in another room instead of leaving my phone sit right next to me on the couch.

But this time, I'm not relying on my own power, I'm relying on God's power to take this from me.

Father, you know my heart and my desires. The need to be there for everyone. To tell them they matter. It is a gift. But take from me the constant "need to know" feeling. Help me to desire the things YOU want for me. Help me to have self-control and wisdom over my time, that all I do would honor you. Amen.

Traits of a Good Help Meet

Alright guys, I did it.  I finally {what a year later probably?} finished the book.  I'm not sure why I'm such a sloooow reader, but it in no way portrays my like/dislike for a book.  I LOVED this book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debbi Pearl {thank you, Julie, for loaning me the book for half a decade! I WILL get it returned to you!}

This one quote pretty much sums up Debbi's theme of the entire book:

"No matter who or what your husband is, your job is to be his help meet.  When you approach him with light in your eyes, that light will reflect back to you."  (284)

It was pretty amazing reading some of the letters from people throughout the book and how just a change in their own attitude is what then made ALL the difference in their marriage, even in the very worst of all marriages! 

At the end of most chapters Debi lists some traits of a good help meet.  I kept a running compilation of these traits and here's the master list.  Read through it slowly and evaluate yourself and imagine the kind of woman this is...

Traits of a good help meet:

* She is joyful.

* She makes love fun.

* She is thankful and content.

* She asks God for wisdom.

* She learns to understand and appreciate her man for who he is.

* She learns to be flexible.

* She fears God.

* She believes God's word as it is written.

* She considers her position as a help meet a privileged command.

* She acknowledges the "good traits" in her man.

* She speaks of her husband with esteem.

* She defers to him.

* She never responds to him with scorn or ridicule.

* She provides an oasis for her man.

* She fixes meals that please him; she does not cook to suit herself.

* She plans and prepares well ahead of time.

* She exercises self-discipline.

* She establishes a haven of rest.

* She will adjust to her husband's time schedule and eating habits.

* She will relax and enjoy her family, instead of fretting.

* She glories in answering her husband's needs.

* She learns to know his needs even before he is aware he has them.

* She empties her mind of the cares of the world so her body can respond to him with eagerness.

* She soberly considers the needs of her children before her own interests.

* She invests time in training them to know and do many things.

* She schools herself in diet and medicine to be better equipped to keep them safe.

* She grows in grace and knowledge.

* She is gracious and honest.

* She is without guile toward her husband.

* She can be found at home.

* She takes her responsibilities seriously.

* She maintains safety for her children in the refuge where God has put her.

* She fears blaspheming God's Word. She knows that whatsoever you sow, you will reap.

* She is at home being an earthbound guardian angel to her children.

* She makes valuable uses of her time at home, creating a clean and pleasant haven.

* She helps.

* She is a doer.  She busy serving others.

* She serves her husband first, her children second, others next, and herself last.

* She is genuine and well-disposed.

* She is yielding, willing, and eager to accomplish injunctions or desires, and abstains from that which is forbidden.

* She looks for ways to obey and reverence her husband.

* She channels her mind into positive ways of saying "yes".

* She never considers herself to be an exception to the rule of being a help meet.

There's sooo much I've learned from this book!  I really want to be a whole different person when it comes to my marriage and home and parenting, and I'm praying for a better start right now!

More posts related to this book:

* ABCs of Being a Help Meet

* My Mission Statement for the Home

* Reverence

* More on Reverence

* My Homework: being a better help meet

* What I am learning

ABCs of Being a Help Meet

I got to this page in Created to Be His Help Meet today and thought I'd share...

A - Admit when you are wrong
B - Be positive
C - Cuddle
D - Do it his way
E - Encourage him
F - Fix his breakfast
G - Give back rubs
H - Hug often
I - "I love you" should be said many times daily
J - Joke around in a playful manner
K - Know his needs
L - Listen to him
M - Manage your home well
N - Never hold grudges
O - Open your eyes in the morning and smile
P - Pray for him
Q - Quit nagging him
R - Reminisce about good times
S - Show respect and honor
T - Trust, and earn his trust
U - Understand his need for reverence
V - Vulnerability is a feminine train; cultivate it
W - Wink at him
X - X is for private times
Y - Yearn to please him
Z - Zealously guard him with your love

I can see there are a few of these things I could definitely do more of. And some of these things have greatly diminished in the life of three little ones. I had my mom come last Saturday so Kevin and I could go out for the day sans kids. Even Carter who I nurse full-time. I left a couple bottles for him and brought my pump along for me, and we were off for a very enjoyable day out. It went all too quickly, as it always does. And all we did was run errands. But man, to walk into a store holding hands with my husband and to get in and out of the car without juggling a full load was SO FREEING! We could get through a complete sentence without interruption and actually carry on conversation, joke, and laugh. I do NOT want to wish this time away with my beautiful children, but man, guys, this phase of life is hard on a marriage. At least for me it is. When Kevin and I were out I realized how out of touch we've been and how distant the life of US seems! We hang out at home, we watch movies together, and chat about things, but it's always still within the context of our stressful life we now live. When we got home Saturday afternoon I was once again reminded how DESPERATELY I need to find a baby sitter for our family! So Kevin and I can spend uninterrupted time together on a REGULAR basis, every month! My soul wants that oh so badly {even more than I want a dishwasher!} But it's hard to make that first step. To go with someone we don't know. So that's one of my very biggest goals this year, find a baby sitter. Reconnect with my husband. Regularly. And re-find the joy we have in each other!

Preschool Devotions

I've already posted how much I love THESE BOOKS. They answer so many great questions children might have about God, Jesus, Heaven, Angels, etc. I have all of them in the series, I think, and just love them. And the pictures are absolutely adorable, as they're drawn by the same illustrator as the Care Bears! Anyway, last week I ordered the devotional for preschoolers. We've just done the last four days and I'm loving it! Click on that last link to see what it's like inside: it has a short devotion, Bible verse, and a short rhyming prayer. And then after we've read those I try to come up with a little activity that applies to the lesson. April 11th was about telling the truth so I explained what a lie is and then said some things (ie: We went to church this morning. Or There's a cow in the living room.) and had Eli tell me if I was telling the truth or a lie. Then he said some things and I answered whether it was the truth of a lie. Then we talked about lying vs pretending and that some things are okay even if it's not true because we're just playing. April 12th was about thanking God, so we went around and each person (except Carter and Hannah) shared 5 things we're thankful for. April 13th was about angels. We read this right before bed, and I couldn't think of a quick activity or discussion thing to do with it, so we didn't. Today's devotions was about our mansion in Heaven that Jesus has prepared for us. So I'm having the kids "draw" a mansion. So yeah, loving this new book, and if you're looking for something like this I would definitely check it out!

Eli's drawing of a mansion. Big house with windows, a door, and trees on either side. 4/14/10

More on reverence.

If you haven't read my first post on the subject, start there and then come back.

I just read on to the next chapter of Created to Be His Help Meet and there it tells more about what we as wives can do to reverence our hubbies. A lot of it is what I had already thought up in my reflections from last chapter. But it's still so good to hear...

"Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and with your body language. It is not enough to get up and serve him; your eyes and the quick, carefree swing of your body must indicate your delight to be engaged in serving your man. You cannot fool a man. He can see your heart as well or better than you can. Keep an eye on his dinner plate so you can anticipate his needs. Deference is a hot cup of tea while you take his shoes off after a hard day's work. It is a glad face when he returns after being gone for a short time. It is thankfulness for his attention and affection. Deference to your man is the height of true femininity. It makes a woman beautiful, gracious, and lovely to all, but most especially to him." (137)

Now before I go any further, I just wanted to say that in reading the previous chapter I had to look up the word deference because it was not a term I'd heard before and the dictionary defines deference as respectful submission. Okay, moving on...

"You cannot command your husband to love you, and you have no right to expect him to love you when you are unlovely. But God has provided a way for a woman to cause her husband to love and cherish her. God gave us ladies some keys to the avenues of a man's heart. God made it so that we can actually manipulate him into fulfilling his God-ordained duty. His very nature is made to respond to us if we will only treat him with reverence." (139)

Now there is a lot about that whole paragraph that I don't like, especially about manipulating our husbands. Manipulate is such an ugly word, and that is not at all the intent. The focus should always remain on how we are serving our God by serving and reverencing our husbands. But the paragraph does show how powerful we are to our man and how when we clean up our own actions, the rest will [but not always] fall into place.

"A man will allow his woman many, many, faults, as long as he knows that she thinks he is great. If she will just look into his face with adoration, if she is thankful to him for loving her, he will adore her." (140)

Read on, this is so me!

"Women, on the other hand, want their husbands to perform. They expect them to be spiritual, hardworking, diligent, sensitive, and an attentive parent, or they will take personal offense and begin to campaign to change him into 'their' image. I find it amazing that a woman would marry a MAN and then become angry because he continues to act like one." (141)

Ah, yes, that is so definitely how I am guilty of thinking! BUT I am learning to be thankful for the basics that are so easy to take for granted. Like being thankful for his attention, love, stability, faithfulness, security, etc.

So if you've read my last post about reverencing your husband, then here is a little more to think about! Blessings to you and your marriage!

Reverence.

So after several weeks of collecting dust on the book shelf, yesterday I finally picked up Created to Be His Help Meet to continue my reading (love this book!) and boy, was I challenged once again in journey of Godly womanhood. Chapter 13 is about reverencing your husband, and after reading this chapter I clearly see this is an area I need to work on and pray about. First, let's get some definitions. The book puts it as this:

1. Obedience is doing what you know the other person wants you to do.
2. Submission is your heart giving over to the other person's will.
3. Reverence is more than just doing what a man expects or demands. It is an act of the woman's will to treat him with a high degree of regard and awe.

The dictionary defines reverence as a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe.

I can already see that I fail to do this for my husband. Respect, yes. Awe, not so much.

But here is the most important reminder the author gave to me:

"She [a wife] is reverencing God by reverencing her husband, not because her husband is a fit representative of Christ, and not because he is a worthy substitute, but because God placed her in subjection to her husband... Her faith sees beyond the sinning man to the God who created us all and 'so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son..' John 3:16 If her faithfulness is never rewarded with a new-birth change in her husband, her commitment will not be wasted, for the grace that God is working in her heart is making her supremely fitted to be the bride of Christ." (127)

Because we are all sinners, no man necessarily deserves honor, respect, and reverence. But God calls us as women to do it anyway (Ephesians 5:33). So this is where we need to suck it up and just do it, forgive as Christ forgave us, obeying God's commands.

"Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." Proverbs 16:3

"The difference between a good marriage and a lousy one is not found in good husbands and good wives versus bad husbands and bad wives, for all marriages are made up of two sinners with lots of faults. A good marriage is good because one or both of them have learned to overlook the other's faults, to love the other as he or she is and to not attempt to change the other or bring him or her to repentance." (129)

The homework assignment at the end of this chapter was to do a word study on reverence. I spent a good amount of yesterday studying the following passages:

Leviticus 26:1
Joshua 5:13-15
Nehemiah 5:14-16
Psalm 5:7
Jeremiah 44:10
Daniel 6:26-27
Malachi 2:4-6
Acts 10:25
2 Corinthians 7:1
Ephesians 5:21
Colossians 3:22
Hebrews 12:28-29
1 Peter 3:1-2

As I read them, I wrote them in my journal, underlining the word reverence in each passage and circling the other key words that help me understand what reverence really looks like in action. And here is that list:

observe. fell facedown. devoted. bow down. humbled themselves. followed. fear. stood in awe. walked with me. peace. uprightness. fell at his feet. purity. holiness. submit. obey. sincerity of heart. thankful. worship. awe. submissive. purity.

Looking over those words, then I think about my own marriage and how I treat my husband. Do I really reverence my husband? I see how much I fall short. I see a whole other picture of how I can really serve my husband, leading me to the next part of the homework assignment...

* Ways I have not shown reverence toward my husband:

• I have not "bowed before him." I probably give off an attitude that my needs are equally important.
• I do not feel, let alone show, awe.
• I do not particularly show a life of purity and holiness.
• I do not always have sincerity of heart and instead am guilty of doing things grudgingly underneath it all.
  
• I do not always remember to be thankful and often forget to watch what I say to others about my husband.

* Ways to correct:

• Set everything aside to serve his needs. Encourage children to help as well, saying things like, "Look, Daddy's up! Let's see if he wants a snack!' or "Daddy's home! Let's help him take off his heavy boots!"
  
• Work on having a good attitude, showing peace, patience, and a gentle spirit by smiling and showing joy.
• Stop being so distracted with computer things and work hard to keep the home and have regular Bible study, showing a life of devotion and servanthood.
• Pray for God to change my heart.
• Choose words oh so carefully when talking with other women about my husband. Keep the focus on my own struggles and attitude rather than on my husband's actions. Use words like "I'm struggling with..." or "I'm having a hard time being thankful for..."
  

ALL of those things will require a great amount of prayer on my part in order to actually follow through, but God can do this work in me. And so, as my eyes have been opened to a new life attitude towards my husband, I encourage you to take the challenge as well and reflect on how you can reverence your own husband.

Respect and obedience vs. Honor

Before in our parenting we'd tried really hard to teach and demand obedience from our children. We followed the guidelines in Shepherding a Child's Heart of what obedience required: respond right away, 100%, with a good attitude. (something like that, I don't have the book right now to double-check). But now that I've started reading Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids! I'm learning the value of honor that goes far beyond obedience. Take a look at the difference between respect/obedience and honor.

"Respect is outward, focusing on a person's position or on the power of an office. People respect police officers or judges because of their authoritative position. When only respect is emphasized in family life, it leads to outer conformity, false intimacy, and eventually, distant relationships." (Turansky, 18)

Honor is the ability to value others for who they are. (20) The criteria for honor are these three: treating people as special, doing more than what's expected, and having a good attitude.

"When children develop obedience, they learn to do a task without being reminded. They learn how to report back, do work they might rather not do, follow directions, and complete a job without being watched. They learn responsibility, a willingness to serve, and faithfulness to do a good job." (26)

"Honor also has several skills hidden within it. Having a good attitude, doing more than what's expected, seeing what needs to be done and doing it without being asked, encouraging others, and contributing to a nurturing atmosphere--all are learned through honor."

"Obedience does not have to hinge on understanding why." (33)

"Honor thinks of what would please someone else and gives more than is expected. It's putting someone else's needs above your own. Honor values others in tangible ways. (10)

"Obedience does things well. Honor does them beautifully." (50)

Obedience is important too, but there's more to it than that. Life is about learning to honor each other, whether in marriage or parenting. Just imagine how beautiful life could be if we all treated people as special, showed appreciation, and did more than what was expected. So think about that for today, and I'll be back soon with details on how we can show and teach honor to our children.

You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband, Part 2

This is continuation from yesterday, so if you didn't read that already, click HERE to read my notes from the first three chapters.

Now this chapter was so significant to me, it gets a post of its own, along with my thoughts at the end...

CHAPTER 4: Accepting Your Husband As He Is
"Unconditional love and acceptance, then, should be the foundation of your marriage, and it is vital that you give your husband these gifts." (48)

"When you accept your husband the way he is, you will give him the freedom to be the man he wants (or needs) to be." (48)

"You and your husband will be contented and free only when you quit setting unrealistic goals and stop expecting him to be who he is not. Allow God to conform your mate into his image rather than trying to conform into the image you have for his life." (49)

"If...you are disappointed in your husband, you may be trying to make him meet certain needs in your life that only Christ can meet." (50)

"Your intentions to change him may be sincere, but they can lead to disaster." (50)

"God did not give you the job of convicting him of sin or error. That is the work of the Holy Spirit." (50)

"Make it a habit, when you have the desire to change something about your husband, to ask Christ to show you your faults." (52)

"Accepting your husband as he is will not always mean that you like how he acts...Acceptance is required, but enjoyment is a blessing from God." (54)

"If negative traits can be modified or channeled in the right direction, they can become strengths." (56)

My own thoughts... You see, there were certain areas of life that I wanted Kevin to change. And I thought I could "encourage him" to be the way I wanted. I got a marriage book for him that paralleled one that really helped me. I bought it with the intention that I wouldn't push him; it would just be something available to him. But I couldn't help myself. Every few weeks I'd remind him that it was on the shelf and he hadn't read it yet and how much I had loved my book. I'd try to get him to join me with a Bible reading plan, set up an accountability partner for him, and would continue to bring up "the issue" time and time again, getting nowhere and just discouraging him even more. Even though I really was just trying to help and encourage, it was simply too much. I had to "let go and let God" do the work.

When I read this chapter in the book, it finally came to my understanding that this was not my job. A quote from chapter three that made all the difference in the world to me: "Do not assume responsibilities that are your husband's alone. Realize that there are needs in his life that you cannot meet..." (44) I can and need to allow God to do the work HE wants to do not what I WANT him to do. And boy, was this a relief to me! A burden lifted! I can pray, but I need to be accepting of who my husband is now. And that's exactly what I've been trying to do.

More to come...

You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband, Part 1

After working on this book off and on for over a year now I FINALLY finished this book! I LOVED it, and it really truly changed how I treated my marriage, so I just have to share my favorite passages. It'll probably take a couple posts, so stay tuned!




CHAPTER 1: The Perfect Plan
"A strong marriage does not just happen accidentally. It is deliberately built through the years, through the work of both spouses. A wise woman will focus only on her role not her husband's. She will trust God to work in her husband's life. however, she will not be surprised should God work differently than she expected." (25)

CHAPTER 2: Your Relationship with the Designer
"Worry, jealousy, discouragement, a critical attitude, and bitterness are symptoms that you are controlling your own life." (32)

"You can have control and peace through such times by drawing on Jesus' strength instead of your own. He promises to be sufficient." (34)

CHAPTER 3: Helping Your Husband Love Himself
"You can only truly love yourself when your identity is 'in Him'...When I love by the truth of what God says about me, my identity is secure." (35)

"As you learn to love yourself as he made you, you can genuinely love your husband and meet the needs of his life that God desires for you to meet." (37)

"Your husband's need for admiration is fulfilled through your genuine praise. His love and strength, in turn, should meet your need for tenderness and protection. Your intuition complements his wisdom. Your loyal support undergirds his initiative." (38)

"Don't push him; just believe in him, and you will begin to experience a deeper, closer relationship with your man." (39)

"When you follow God's plan for your life, you will be rewarded fourfold:
1. As you trust Jesus Christ to help you understand your husband, you will be pleasantly surprised to discover what a wonderful man you married.
2. As your husband begins to respond to your loving admiration, he will express appreciation and love for you.

Do not assume responsibilities that are your husband's alone. Realize that there are needs in his life that you cannot meet, such as his need to make Christ the Lord of life or his need for acceptance and approval by others in business and society. Your main job is to comfort, encourage, and support your man when he is with you. As you plant and water your mate's life with praise, it is God's job to make it grow and bring an increase. (44)

3. God will give you inner peace and stability when you live to please and obey Him and not yourself.
4. You will receive rewards in eternity as you faithfully trust and obey Christ." (43,44)

More to come tomorrow...

Total Money Makeover

I've really been wanting to share about this for several weeks now, but just haven't had time! When my friend Erin was here visiting a couple months ago she mentioned this great book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. She described a little bit what it was about, and I asked Kevin if he'd be interested in reading it with me. He was interested so we went ahead and found the book on Amazon. As soon as we got it, I plowed through the entire book in a week because everything Dave Ramsey says about money is so exciting! Finances has been a big struggle in our marriage, as it is for sooo many couples, and I've really been seeking a way for us to come to a mutual agreement about how to spend and save our hard-earned money. And finally FINALLY we're getting there!! So in a nutshell here are the main ideas of the book....

Dave's motto is this: IF YOU WILL LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE, LATER YOU CAN LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE. This means if you work really hard now, making all kinds of sacrifices in your spendings and work your way to financial freedom, then later you can live a life of peace and security that other people don't have!

Dave's approach to saving is to tackle one thing at a time. Instead of spreading your money so thin among several different things and just gradually paying off expenses, use focused intensity to become debt free, including your house! He lays out 7 Baby Steps to follow, in order, to achieve your own Total Money Makeover!

Baby Step One: If you've got NO savings, build yourself a mini emergency fund of $1000 FAST. Get some momentum going and do whatever you can to get this $1000! Stop buying unnecessary stuff, sell extra things you have around the house, deliver pizzas for awhile, etc.

Baby Step Two: Pay off all debts (everything except house at this point). List all your debts starting with the smallest $ and working to the biggest. You get momentum going by knocking off the small ones first and feeling like you're accomplishing something. You work with "gazelle intensity" (Dave's common phrase) to pay off those debts. It means a LOT of sacrifices in spending--could be not eating out or shutting off cable or not buying clothes, etc.

Baby Step Three: Build up your fully-funded emergency fund. (3-6 months worth of pay)

Baby Step Four: Start saving for retirement. (15% of income)

Baby Step Five: Start saving for kids' college.

Baby Step Six: Pay off your house.

Baby Step Seven: Build wealth. (with investments)

Kevin and I are both on board for this money makeover challenge! We're VERY blessed that our van was our only debt, so after reading this book we decided to shuffle our money around and pay off the van right away! So that's done already, and now we're on to Baby Step Three of building our emergency fund back up again! We're going to live on a budget. We've tried before, but since we both weren't really into the budget, we never stuck to it. But this time we have a different attitude and a different approach. Dave suggests saving for things so you can pay for it right away in cash. Tuck money away for your future car, future house repairs, future car repairs, etc. We've never been ones to put everything on credit card, but I'm not sure the money was always there either. Now we're going to try a cash budget. I found a small coupon-sized expandable organizer at Target (something like this one) that I can stick our money for different categories like hair cuts, groceries, household items, diapers, clothes, etc. and when the money's gone, the money's gone! We find a way to live without! And we don't have to keep track of every receipt! This system will help us to know exactly how much we have saved towards various things since that's so hard to keep track of in any general savings account. Sure, we won't be making interest, but at least we know it won't get spent if we already have it designated for something specific. We'll give it a try anyway! Next month will be our first month trying the cash budget, as it took several weeks to figure out a good budget, adjusting things here and there. But now we're ready, ready to start this new lifestyle as we prepare for the future!

Husband Encouragement Challenge: Day 4

As I mentioned on DAY 1, this time doing the challenge I am focusing on these three goals, as I continue reading You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband:

1. Focus only on my role as a spouse and not my husband's.
2. Trust God to work in Kevin's life.
3. Love Kevin unconditionally, accepting him as he is.

I'm going for more of a heart change than behavior change during these weeks. You see, there are specific areas in my husband's life I would love to see change, and for the three years we've been married, I kept thinking I could just encourage him in the right direction. Make suggestions, buy books, drop hints, and sometimes it was just an all-out heart-melt (where I actually told him how I want things to be different), all on top of prayer of course. But God's been making me realize (especially through this book, wow!) how much I really just need to love and accept Kevin as he is and let God do the work in him. It's not even my responsibility! What a weight lifted off me!

Here are some very encouraging passages from the book...

"Do not assume responsibilities that are your husband's alone. Realize that there are needs in his life that you cannot meet, such as his need to make Christ the Lord of his life or his need for acceptance and approval by others in business and society. Your main job is to comfort, encourage, and support your man when he is with you. As you plant and water your mate's life with praise, it is God's job to make it grow and bring an increase. "(44)

"Don't push him; just believe in him, and you will begin to experience a deeper, closer relationship with your man." (39)

"You and your husband will be contented and free only when you quit setting unrealistic goals and stop expecting him to be who he is not. Allow God to conform your mate into his image rather than trying to conform him in the image you have for his life." (49)

"Make it a habit, when you have the desire to change something about your husband, to ask Christ to show you your faults." (52)

Author Darien B. Cooper draws out the encouragement written in Philippians 4:4,6-8....

Rejoice in the Lord always....Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus... Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

What great verses! These have been some of my memory verses, yet it wasn't really until now as I put them in the context of marriage that I realize how power they really have!

For DAY 4 of the challenge we are to think on our husband and his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

Kevin's job is definitely one thing I don't take for granted! He is such a hard worker and great at what he does! Because of him, his work ethic, his leadership, his values for family, I am able to stay home with our children! And what a blessing that is! I don't always see him off to work (as he leaves at 6am and I'm just now getting in the routine of getting up earlier), but we do always greet him with a warm welcome when he comes home. When he's on a night shift, I make sure he has plenty of snacks, food to eat, and coffee to get him through the long hours. I try to keep the house quiet while he's sleeping during the day. And on his days off, I make sure he gets some real time off for himself while Eli and I go out of the house for awhile. And on occasion I do thank him for working and for being the provider for our family. He's a good man!

Go to Speaking from the Heart to join in on this challenge!

I love these books!

A few weeks ago I was at Goodwill browsing books, and I am convinced they're one of the best places to get great steals (if you have time to dig through the shelves)! I walked out with several quality books for only $0.39, $0.49, or $0.99! The best find, however, was a book of this series: Little Blessings series by author Kathleen Long Bostrom. The book I got that day was Are Angels Real? It's a rhyming book starting with questions from a child's perspective and following with sound Biblical answers. And in the back of the book the author includes excerpts with the exact Bible references she uses for her story. Here are a couple excerpts just so you can see what I'm talking about...

I've heard there are angels.
Oh, can it be true?
Are angels for real?
And just what do they do?

Do I have an angel
that looks after me?
Can I talk to angels?
Can they hear and see?
.....
Are angels for real?
There is no need to guess.
The Bible assures us the answer is yes!
So, who made the angels?
Well, God did, that's who!
And God gives the angels
their own jobs to do....

And the illustrations (by Elena Kucharik) are very cute! After falling in love with this book, I went on Amazon and got two others from the series: Who Is Jesus? and What is God Like? And I love those just as much and am eager to find more!

So I hope you check 'em out! I highly recommend them!

Book Notes: A Mom After God's Own Heart

Wow, I have a lot of notes from this book, it was all just so great! Elizabeth George is my favorite author and so inspiring to me, and so much of what I've read I've started incorporating into my own life! So let me share (everything is excerpts really)...

Intro: Little Choices That Reap Big Blessings
1. Develop a template for your weeks--put first things first--daily Bible time or Bible story time; prepare for church.
2. Analyze your TV time. How much are you watching, how could you use that time to grow in your knowledge of God, to put better things into your heart and mind, to pray for your family to follow God
3. Choose a devotional book--for yourself and for children.
4. Memorize a Bible verse every week.
5. Pray for your heart.

CHAPTER 1: Take Time to Nurture Your Heart
"...we need to take care of our own hearts. We need to take time to nurture our hearts. We are to love the Lord. We are to love and obey His Word. His Word is to reside in our hearts. And THEN we will be godly mothers, and we can more successfully teach God's word to our children."

CHAPTER 2: Teach Your Children God's Word
"It's important to have a time that's set aside and scheduled for reading the Bible... Don't worry about what your children are or are not getting out of your Bible reading times. What they do get is the firsthand experience of seeing your love for the Bible and your wholehearted commitment to God and His Son. They'll realize God's word is important to you...therefore it will become important to them." (59)

CHAPTER 3: Talk to Your Children About God
Constantly focus all of everyday life on Him and His teachings by talking about Him all day long.

"Why talk about God? Because we talk about what's important to us. And when we don't talk about God, we send a loud message to our children that God really isn't that important. So make God a part of your everyday life and chit-chat. Talk about Him and His ways. Talk about His word and His Son. Talk about the wonder of his creation." (72)

CHAPTER 4: Tell Your Children About Jesus
"Somewhere in the midst of all you do, want to do, and need to do, there should be this aim: to educate and introduce each of your children to Jesus Christ...you must see telling your kids about Jesus as your Number One priority and purpose in life as a mom." (88)

* Read out loud to your children daily from the four Gospels.
* Have your kids share in the reading if they can.
* Have them write out and memorize key verses.
* Encourage them to write letters and prayers to Jesus about what they're learning.
* Draw or color pictures of the stories you are reading to them about Jesus.
* Create a full-on craft time aimed at illustrating the day's story and truth.

"Point out any behavior that goes against God's standards. And at the same time, point them to Jesus as the One who can forgive their sins and help them to do the right things."

May your children never remember a day when you didn't talk to them about Jesus, your Best Friend and Savior!

CHAPTER 5: Train Your Children in God's Ways
"Your children will follow your footsteps more easily and often than they will follow your advice."

"Yes, children raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord can stray from God. But they can never get away from the prayers of their mom watering the seeds of God's word and love that have been planted in their hearts through a lifetime." (116)

10 Commands for Guiding Your Children
* Teach them, using God's word. (Deut. 6:4-9)
* Tell them what's right and wrong. (1 Kings 1:6)
* See them as gifts from God. (Ps. 127:3)
* Guide them in godly ways. (Prov. 22:6)
* Discipline them. (Prov. 29:17)
* Love them unconditionally. (Lk. 15:11-32)
* Do not provoke them to wrath. (Eph. 6:4)
* Earn their respect by example. (1 Tim. 3:4)
* Provide for their physical needs. (1 Tim. 5:8)
* Pass your faith along to them. (2 Tim. 1:5)

CHAPTER 6: Take Care of Your Children
1. Feed them.
2. Protect them--from siblings, from accidents, from incidents, through education, from the internet, from TV, from the opposite sex
3. Rest time.

CHAPTER 7: Take Your Children To Church
Going to church...
* is an opportunity to hear the heart, mind, and voice of your pastor (Col 4:16)
* is a time to join your heart with others in unified worship (1 Tim. 2:8-12)
* is a time to blend your voice together with others in praise to God (Matt. 26:30)
* is a time to give sacrificially to the Lord (1 Cor. 16:2)
* is an opportunity to have a shared experience with both young and old (Acts 2:42)

CHAPTER 8: Teach Your Children to Pray
"Prayer is important to our children at all ages and stages. And we bless and better their lives when we let them see and hear us pray--when we pray for them, when we pray with them...and especially when we teach them to pray. It's one more way we love them. And it's one more way we train them up for life, especially the future when we won't always be available and they're on their own. And, blessing upon blessing, it's one more way we train them to serve God as they enter into the personal privilege and ministry of prayer."

Prompting prayer...
* ASK "What would you like to thank Jesus for tonight? Today? Right now? Let's not forget to say 'thank you' to Jesus!"
* ASK "What are you worried about? Sad about? Let's tell God about it right now. He can take care of it."
* ASK "What is your biggest challenge today? What would you like to ask God to help you with? Let's ask Him now."
* ASK "Can you think of a special friend we can pray for? How can we ask God to help him or her?"
* ASK "What do you think your dad/brother/sister needs help with? What kindnesses can you do for them to make their lives easier? Let's ask God to help us all."

Everything you do and don't do teaches.

CHAPTER 9: Try Your Best
1. Know who you are.
2. Know what it is you do.
3. Realize you cannot serve two masters.
4. Keep it simple.
5. Don't go it alone.
6. Take one day at a time.

CHAPTER 10: Talk to God About Your Children
* Pray for your child's salvation.
* Pray for your child's friends.
* Pray for your child's purity.
* Pray for your child's schoolwork.
* Pray for your child's church involvement.

CHAPTER 11: Making the Choices That Count
Choose your attitude--
* heartily (Col. 3:23)
* faithfully (1 Tim. 3:11)
* willingly (Prov. 31:15)
* excellently (Prov. 31:29)
* joyfully (1 Thes. 5:16)
* prayerfully (1 Thes. 5:17)
* thankfully (1 Thes. 5:18)

Book Notes: The Power of a Praying Wife

While preparing for a Husband Encouragement Challenge post, I was flipping through the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian that I read in the first year of marriage, when I realized again just how GREAT this book is! So I decided to go through the book and type up my favorite quotes and passages from the book. So here we go...

"We have God's power on our side. We don't have to leave our marriages to chance. We can fight for them in prayer and not give up, because as long as we are praying, there is hope." (p. 20)

"The hardest part about being a praying wife, other than the sacrifice of time, is maintaining a pure heart." (p.25)

"My heart had to be softened, humbled, pummeled, molded, and reconstructed before He even started working on my husband. I had to learn to see things according to the way God saw them--not how I thought they should be." (p. 26)

"God can resurrect the deadest of marriages, but it takes humbling ourselves before him and desiring to live His way--forgiveness, kindness, and love," (p. 28)

"Submission is something you give from your heart, not something demanded of you," (p. 29)

"Prayer is the ultimate love language....Talking to God about your husband is an act of love." (p.29)

"There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two." (p.32)

"Prayer is the only thing that always works." (p.33)

"The Lord will always give us words to say, and how us when to say them if we ask Him. Timing is everything." (p.34)

"Our goal must not be to get our husbands to do what we want, but rather to release them to God so He can get them to do what He wants." (p.35)

"It's not the words we speak that make a difference, it is the power of God accompanying them." (p.36)

"You will still be expected to see that heart of your home is a peaceful sanctuary--a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest, and love for your family." (p.37)

"Part of making a house a home is allowing your husband to be the head so you can be the heart." (p.38)

"The more time you spend with the Lord, the more radiant you will become." (p.39)

"Accept your husband the way he is and pray for him to grow. Then when change happens, it will be because God has worked it in him and it will be lasting...Your greatest expectations must be from God, not your husband." (p.41)

"We not only bring defeat into our marriages and our husbands when we don't have respect for them, but it shuts the door to new life in us as well." (p.42)

"History tends to repeat itself without the intervention of God." (p.51)

"Only when we recognize that all we have comes from God and seek to make Him Lord over it can we avoid the pitfalls that money, or the lack of it, brings." (p.55)

"The two most powerful weapons against the attack of lies upon your husband's mind are the Word of God and praise." (p.83)

"The only kind of fear we are supposed to have is the fear of the Lord." (p.89)

"A wife can't put pressure on her husband to be something, but she can pray for him to become it." (p.93)

"Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be a part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way is possible." (p.95)

"Even though we pray and have faith, the outcome and timing are God's decisions." (p.104)

"Being good friends with godly people who love the Lord doesn't just happen by chance. We must pray that such people will come into our lives. And then when we find them, we should continue to cover the relationships in prayer." (p.132)

"The best way for a man to be a good father is to get to know his heavenly Father and learn to imitate Him." (p.139)

Family Bible Time

I was just reading Chapter 2 in my book A Mom After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. It's been a whole month since reading Chapter 1, so I'm slow moving through this book, even though it's really good. Anyway, I loved what I read yesterday and wanted to share a little excerpt:

"It's important to have a time that's set aside and scheduled for reading the Bible... Don't worry about what your children are or are not getting out of your Bible reading times. What they do get is the firsthand experience of seeing your love for the Bible and your wholehearted commitment to God and His Son. They'll realize God's Word is important to you...therefore it will become important to them." p. 59

What a great perspective! So inspiring to me! At the end of the chapter in the "Little Choices That Reap Big Blessings" section, the author suggests that you "Read from the Bible first... make sure the Bible is treated as the most important book they will hear or read." Eli isn't even 1 year old yet, but if I were to get out the Bible and read it every single day, he would come to know and recognize that book and that it's something special and important to his momma. Another thing on the list of "Little Choices" was to read Proverbs to your children because the purpose of Proverbs is "to give the young man knowledge and discretion." Solomon wrote it for his own son "to instruct him in the disciplines he would need throughout life." So already this morning at breakfast I started Chapter 1 of Proverbs.

Alright, well, that's all for now. Just wanted to share that tidbit for you! Click here to read my notes from Chapter 1 of A Mom After God's Own Heart.

Nurture Your Heart

So it's been a hard week. Hubby (Kevin) is working nights 5pm-5am and sleeping during the day, so basically I've been doing everything regarding Eli with no break. And he's in a lot of difficult phases right now: little interest in toys, crawling everywhere and getting to all the things we can't babyproof (stairs, vents, piano, etc), spitting while he's eating, waking way too early in the morning (it was 5:30am today) yet resisting any additional naps to his regular schedule to make up for waking so early. And now that he's just learned to pull himself to standing, he just stands and wails over the crib rail. It's so sad to see. Really.

I've been really bitter, frustrated, angry, and overall just really ugly lately. My heart attitude has been... well... wicked. I have not been a godly mother AT ALL. And if I could actually see myself, I would probably cry. Along with all the rest of my crying this week. I've been wallowing in self-pity, thinking Eli is just in the worst of stages right now and how we live so far away from friends and family because of the military, and how Kevin is on nights, and I'm doing this all alone, etc...

Well, today I decided to just leave all the chores (trying to be quiet as a mouse so Eli can just. get. a. good. nap for once) and read in my book A Mom After God's Own Heart, since I've barely touched it for a couple weeks now and haven't made it past the intro. And wasn't that the perfect thing for me to pick up TODAY.

Chapter 1: Take Time to Nurture Your Heart.

The author starts out discussing Deuteronomy 6:4-12, making these points: "we need to take car of our own hearts. We need to take time to nurture our hearts. We are to love the Lord. We are to love and obey His Word. His word is to reside in our hearts. And THEN we will be godly mothers and we can more successfully teach God's word to our children."

Wow. That's exactly the problem I've been having lately.

[according to book] If I don't nurture my heart...
1. I am running on empty-- have a hollow and numb heart, apathy, dull and devoid spiritual energy, purpose, motivation, and accomplishment
2. I am heartless and am on autopilot with parenting.
3. I am worldly.
4. I am unspiritual-- screaming, yelling, name-calling, etc.

Yes, I could say I'm guilty of some of these things the past week or two.

Proverbs 31 says a godly mother rose up each day to tend to the fire of the house and to the "sacred fire" of her heart. I have really been wanting to get up earlier so I can start my day with quiet time. And it seems like just yesterday I was saying that "once Eli starts sleeping through the night and I'm getting good rest, it'll be easier and I can start getting up." Well, he started sleeping through the night 3 MONTHS AGO!! And look at me still dragging myself out of bed after Eli's already been awake for 30 minutes or so playing in his crib!

So my new goal is to REALLY start getting up at 6:15am (the ultimate goal is 6:00, but we'll start with 6:15 for now) so I can have quiet time before starting my day. So I can set my heart right with God before even that first battle strikes. So I can nurture my heart as I strive to be "a mom after God's own heart".

A Verse a Week

A couple weeks ago I finished reading the book A Wife After God's Own Heart (loved it! you can read my book notes here) and now I'm starting A Mom After God's Own Heart and studying the 10 ways to love my children (well, I only have a 9-month old so far, but I'm learning and preparing for the future). I only had time to read the intro today but already I've set a new goal for myself. (read on to find out what it is) At the end of every chapter the author has a list of "Little Choices That Reap Big Blessings," and I just love these lists because they're real ways to apply God's teaching to my daily life.

One of the suggestions (just in the intro, remember) is to analyze your TV time and consider how you could "use that time to grow in your knowledge of God, to put better things into your heart and mind, to pray for your family to follow God." I already try not to watch too much TV. My husband and I have specific shows we always watch during the week, and that's pretty much it. I HATE channel surfing because to me, it's like you're settling on something to waste your time. But TV time is still definitely an area that could be better managed.

But the real thing I'm going to start doing is to memorize a Bible verse every week so that I will know God's word in the same way that Hannah knew God's word, and Mary and Daniel, and David, and so many others knew God's word. I need to strengthen my own knowledge so I can help teach my children. So that's my goal, to memorize one Bible verse every week. I did this in college with my roommates and I thought it was great, but I haven't done it since. And when Eli gets a little older I'll choose age-appropriate Bible verses to help him memorize too!

I'm going to start simple, since many verses I could recite but I don't actually know where they're from. So I'll work on that. If anyone would like to join me, I would love that! Keep each other accountable to actually doing it. I'll leave a Mr. Linky and if you'd like to do this with me just sign your name below! A new verse will be posted next Thursday, so be sure to come back!

This week's verse: Luke 10:27 NIV
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself."