We used to play tennis in the evenings. We used to fly kites at the park. Ride bikes through a shady trail. Go for walks. Play frisbee or catch with a ball. We used to eat out with friends after church. Every time. We used to go to movies at the theater. Eat at restaurants frequently. And run errands together. Always. We used to order pizza in on rainy days. We used to sleep in together and watch movies in the afternoon. We used to have conversations. We used to work out together. Go Jeepin'. Take trips spontaneously. Go camping. Take pictures of ourselves.
And then.
We had kids.
And ALL that changed.
Now, we don't do ANY of that. What fun is it to arrange a babysitter just to go do something simple like fly a kite? There's no spontaneity, there's no freedom to just BE and have fun with one another. It has to be arranged and planned and timed. And then, that just takes the fun out of it.
So what's next? How do we get it back? The thrill of one another??
5 comments:
Honey, you're right there isn't much spontaneity with kids. You do have to plan, but that doesn't mean it can't be just as much fun! Flying a kite is flying a kite no matter if it's planned or not! In this season of life (and it's a very fleeting season, we must remember) we need to make the best of it - take the kids with or arrange for them to be with a sitter (or better yet, arrange for them to stay a week with grandparents!!). I know it's hard. I do. We used to stay up for all hours of the night. We used to have game nights with friends. We used to take naps. We used to go to Walmart at odd hours of the night.
Those fun things will come back. It's just going to take time. :) And one thing you should do is share this post with your husband! Tell him that you miss these things. Include him in the process of getting some of that spark back.
"LIKE" the previous comment. She pretty much says everything I wanted to say.
Totally agree with the comments above ... and you can still do those things - just take your kids to do them - it might be different than it was but that doesn't mean it won't be fun! Or make new memories and traditions and fun things. Having kids changes us in a million ways - good ways - and yes hard ways too - but it's about making the best of things and being truly filled with contentment and joy no matter what. Hang in there Mama, I know you're going through a rough time right now and I'm praying for you!
When we got married the pastor gave us three pieces of advice, one of them was to make sure that we kept dating each other. When it was just us it was easier, but now that we have kids it does get a little harder. And even though it takes more effort doesn't mean it pointless.
This season of your life with young kids is hard, but that makes it even more important to keep dating each other. It might be a movie and popcorn after the kids have gone to bed. It might be having a regular sitter lined up for when hubby is off of work on weekends so you can know you have some one and then be spontaneous. Start planning when you walk out the door.
Sorry this is long winded, I just understand where you are! Things will get better! Hang in there!
I found your blog late last night while I was web surfing... trying to find blogs that were christian based and inspired me personally. The Lord brought me to your page and I'm sooo happy that he did! I feel so welcomed and inspired by your lifestyle and honesty. We have allot in common and that is refreshing. I will continue to follow and learn from your heartfelt posts. I will be praying for you and your family. God Bless you
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