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Thursday, February 27, 2025

God Knows You Need a New Path

 I went on YouTube yesterday morning to look up a song that related to my Bible study lesson I had just read. But instead God had a message He wanted me to hear because it was right on the home screen. This is a sermon by Steven Furtick, "God Knows You Need a New Path". It was so good I started dictating it all into my phone so I could have it to keep and reread. This is just the first 10ish minutes of a 35-minute sermon. SO POWERFUL.

 "We want change but don’t want to leave what’s familiar. Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s still for you. Just because it’s good in one season doesn’t mean it’s God‘s best for this season. I know it’s scary to let go. I know it’s hard to walk into the unknown but what if the thing you are holding onto is the very thing keeping you from God’s next for your life. Isaiah 4:19 says ‘behold I am doing a new thing, now it Springs forth, do you not perceive it?’ God is saying I am already making a way, you just have to perceive it. The path is opening. But if you are too busy looking back you will miss what is ahead. 

Stop praying for direction while holding on to dead weight. You’ve been asking God for a sign but the truth is, he’s already been speaking, he’s been closing doors, he’s been stirring your spirit, he’s been making you uncomfortable not to punish you but to position you because you can’t step into a new thing with an old mindset. You can’t walk a new path if you’re still dragging the baggage of the last season. You have to trust that if God is leading you to a new path, it’s because he has already prepared the way. 

So what’s your step today? Is it leaving that toxic relationship? Is it walking away from a job that no longer aligns with your purpose? Is it finally stepping out on that dream that God planted in your heart? whatever it is, walk. Walk, even when you don’t have all the answers. Walk, even when you feel unqualified. Walk, even when fear tries to hold you back. because when you walk in obedience, God walks with you. 

The path may be new to you but it’s not new to him. And if God is the one leading you, you won’t just survive you’ll thrive. God knows you need a new path before you do. That means before you ever felt stuck, before you ever question whether this road was the right one. Before you ever experienced the frustration of whether you’ve outgrown where you are, God already saw it coming, he already knew the season would shift. he already knew you would reach a point where the old way wouldn’t work anymore. You might be surprised by the circumstances in your life but God isn’t. You might be confused about what’s next but God isn’t. He sees what you can’t see, He knows what you don’t know, and even when you don’t realize you need a new path He is already preparing one. 

There’s something about human nature that makes us resistant to change.  We crave stability, comfort, and familiarity even when it’s no longer good for us. Sometimes we stay in places we’ve outgrown because leaving is too uncertain. We stay in relationships that no longer bring us peace because we’re afraid of loneliness. We keep working in jobs that drain us because stepping out in faith feels too risky but God doesn’t operate according to our comfort zones. He operates according to His purpose and when God sees that the place you’re in is no longer aligned with His purpose for your life He starts shifting things, He starts unsettling you, He starts making what used to work feel like it’s no longer enough. 

Have you ever noticed that sometimes the first sign that you need a new path isn't a door opening but a door closing. Sometimes God doesn't show you the next step until you’re willing to let go of the last one. And that can feel scary, it can feel like you’re losing control, it can feel like you’re wandering without direction. But what if that frustration you feel is actually divine. What if God is actually allowing the discomfort because he knows you would never leave on your own. What if he’s making it clear that it’s time for something new and the only thing standing in the way is your fear. We often pray for clarity but what we really want is certainty. We want God to show us every detail of the journey before we take a step. We want to know how everything will work out before we say yes. But God rarely works like that. He asks us to trust Him even when we can’t see the whole picture. He asks us to take steps of faith even when we don’t have all the answers. He asks us to believe that if He is calling us to a new path he has already prepared the way. 

Think of Abraham. 


You have to be willing to take the first step. You have to be willing to leave what’s comfortable and trust that even when you don’t understand the process God has a plan. Some of the biggest breakthroughs in life come after a season of uncertainty. Some of the biggest blessings come after we finally surrender our plans for God’s. The tension you feel between where you are and where you’re supposed to be isn’t random, it’s not just frustration, it’s a holy nudge, it’s God saying I have more for you. And sometimes he has to shake things up to get your attention. Sometimes he has to allow things to fall apart so you’ll stop trying to hold onto something that was never meant to last. 


You weren’t created to stay stuck. You weren’t created to live beneath your purpose. And when God sees that you’ve settled for less than he intended for you He starts calling you higher. That’s why some things don’t feel the same anymore, that’s why the old way of thinking doesn’t satisfy you like you used to. That’s why you’ve been feeling like there’s something more even if you can’t put your finger on it. It’s because God is leading you to some thing greater and He’s not waiting until you’re ready because the truth is you’ll never feel completely ready. 


He is leading you now, He’s making a way now, he’s setting things in motion now. Sometimes the first step toward a new path isn’t a major life change, it’s a shift in your mindset. It’s realizing that what you thought was the destination was only a stop along the way. It’s understanding that what worked in one season may not work in the next. It’s embracing the fact that just because something was good for a time doesn’t mean that it’s God‘s best for you now. That’s a hard thing to accept because we want to hold on to what feels safe. We want to stay in places that feel familiar, but faith isn’t about staying, it’s about moving. It’s about following where God leads even when it doesn’t make 

sense. 


Think about the Israelites, being freed from Egypt only to wander in the wilderness. 


What if your frustration right now is actually preparation. What if God is using this in between season to strengthen your faith, to refine your character, to teach you how to depend on him. What if the reason the old path doesn’t feel right anymore is because he’s calling you higher. What if the very thing you’re afraid to let go of is the thing keeping you from stepping into your next level. 


God doesn’t wait until you ask for a new path to start making a way. He’s already been working, he’s already been opening doors you don’t even know about yet, he’s already been shifting things behind the scenes, and even when it feels like nothing is happening, trust me God is moving. He is orchestrating every detail, he is aligning people opportunities and divine connections that will be revealed in the right time. 


Your  responsibility is not to figure everything out, your responsibility is to trust Him, to walk in obedience, even when it doesn’t make sense because the same God who saw this moment coming is the same God who will lead you through it. The same God who knew you needed a new path is the same God who will make a way when there seems to be no way, and if He is calling you forward it’s because there’s something ahead that’s greater than anything you’re leaving behind."


Sunday, February 16, 2025

Centered Sunday - Feb. 16


 
Memory Verse... Psalm 19:14
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

Train Them Up...
❤ Actually play with the Littles.
❤ Saturday evening bday outing with just Bigs?
Embrace this life.

Personal Goals...
💜 Run 3x and increase to 4 miles
💜 Scale to ***lb
💜 Find new book 

New Habit of the Month...
★ No alcohol. 21 days now!

Must do...
* Pay credit card bills
* Drop off donations

Zone... 
>>Anything Christmas, put AWAY!

Menu
M- beef roast
T- taquitos
W- chicken alfredo
Th- meat loaf, mashed potatoes
F- frozen pizza
S- birthday dinner out

3 Things I'm Thankful for Today...
1. Therapy. Having someplace to release my emotional energy especially when things are rough.
2. My mom has been so helpful lately, filling in the gaps when needed, with childcare, finances, or even a note of encouragement.
3. Good health and fitness. If I didn't have that there is so much of my life I wouldn't be able to do. I really am thankful.


Self-Love

 In honor of Valentine's Day this past week, these are a few things that self-love looks like...


Sweaty workouts

Nutrition

Sunsets


Sunrises


Afternoon naps

Reading a book


Buying yourself flowers


Unplugging

Fresh Air


Saying No

Leaving the dishes


Asking for help

Changing plans

Sobriety


Boundaries

Chocolate


Gotta end with chocolate. :)

Friday, February 14, 2025

A Time to Embrace.

When I say that I do have regrets in my life, that's in turn saying that I don't appreciate where I am now in my life. Saying (to Xander and Haven and Justin) that I regret you. Wow. That hurts.

It's time.

To reach a place of acceptance and truly EMBRACE this messy fucking life, and own it. It never would have been the story tale I had been wanting, even if I hadn't messed up. We weren't happy. Kevin and I weren't necessarily meant to be together but in this messy world of free will God still used it for good. He always does. Just like He has in these more recent years of trauma and struggles. He always has a purpose, for good and glory. I need to keep walking thru it. And embrace the whole damn thing.

Today is Valentine's Day, a day of love and embracing. God, as I continue through my day, keep working these thoughts through my head and my heart, and help me to overcome these barriers that are keeping me from accepting the life I have now and reaching a place of ultimate fulfillment and joy. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Thursday, February 13, 2025

Rough Draft.


 If I were to write again, what would I say?

Would I talk about what led to divorce.

Or how divorce destroyed me.

But that I still somehow, with the grace and strength of God overcame.

But even still somehow for years chose crappy outlets to survive that never ultimately served me.

And that I'm finally FINALLY 8 years later actually breaking free and discovering ME.

What a hellacious journey life is sometimes.

Would I be brave enough? 

To write about it.


8 year hiatus.

 Is anyone still out there?

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Advent Activities

I LOVE this time of year! I love the JOY of the season, I love the intentional time we have together as a family, I love reaching out to others, I love traditions, I love switching things up and starting NEW traditions!

What I DON'T love: supplies, messes, and prep work.

So I choose our daily advent activities with that in mind. Each year I come up with a few new ideas and add them in. Some ideas for YOU...

Decorate the Christmas tree.
Make a popcorn garland.
Make an ornament and add to the Christmas tree.
Read about candy canes and then add some to the tree.
Have a candy cane hunt!
 
Make a craft with Mom.
 List what you are grateful for.

Decorate an ice cream cone Christmas tree. (the kids' favorite!)
Bake Christmas cookies.
Deliver cookies to someone you want to bless.
Cook a big brunch.
Invite friends over for hot cocoa and cookies.

Clean out toys to give away, including a favorite item.
Prepare and mail out Christmas cards. (assembly line style)
Send a sunshine box to someone who has had a hard year.
Mail encouraging cards to families who have lost someone this year.
 Donate items to local collection drive.
As a family buy something for a third world community. 
 Visit nursing home residents.
Candy cane bomb a parking lot.
Prepare a care package for a single mom.
Go shopping for Christmas exchange.
Make a Christmas card for your teachers.
Prepare gifts for teachers.
Bake and deliver something to your neighbors. 
THANK your mail and/or UPS carriers.
Drive around looking at Christmas lights.
 Go on a driving Christmas scavenger hunt around town.
Attend a Christmas program. (aka the kids' school music concert)

Sing Christmas carols around the piano.

Unwrap a new book to read. 
Pick one of your received Christmas cards and pray for that family.
 Learn about how Christmas is celebrated in another part of the world.

 Camp out by the Christmas tree tonight.
Watch a favorite Christmas movie. 
Put on music and have a coloring party.
 
Fill out a Christmas mad lib
 Play Christmas dice game.
 Play Christmas-themed Pictionary. 
Play "Name That Tune" with Christmas hymns and songs.
Write a Christmas poem together.
 List how many words you can make using the letters in CHRISTMAS.
Have a family spelling bee with Christmas words.

Burn off some holiday treats and do 50 jumping jacks.
Have a living room dance party to fun Christmas music.   

Spend time repenting by reading Psalm 51.
Read and act out nativity story.
Watch The Nativity movie.
Read the story about JESUS. 

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Saying No to the scale...



Over the past year I have lost 25 lbs via a lot of hard work, hundreds of daily choices, food logging and exercise. It's exciting to see progress and change when you really put your mind to it, and I'm proud of where I am. But even though I don't really have more pounds to lose, I am still struggling with weight. Or at least I sure have CONVINCED myself that I am. My body is fine, but my mind has become obsessed, and I'm no longer able to truly ENJOY food or sitting down without feeling guilt or the need to "make up for it" later.

I am fighting hard to find balance. After reading this article and in an effort for this whole thing to stop consuming me, I made the difficult decision to give up the scale. Out of the house altogether, (although it still sits there right now in the bathroom).  I thought giving up the scale would be freeing--I can FEEL when I'm up and I can FEEL when I'm down, I don't need numbers screaming at me and dictating whether it's  a "fail" or "win" kind of day. Right??? But it turns out it's really hard to let go...

I have no accountability, no goal, no immediate reason NOT to cheat. And I like to cheat. I like sweets which so happen to be the #1 cause of weight gain. So now I'm swinging wildly again, in the upward direction surely. And my body feels like crap, huge and pregnant-looking. And mentally I feel like I'm losing it. I don't have things in control the way I like. I'm eating frivolously and impulsively: gluttony.

"Just stop cheating and eat right until you feel great again," I tell myself. I know this but it's easy to say and hard to do. And I'm starting to feel desperate and about to break, about to take it all back and say Nevermind. The scale is one of those things that can hold you in bondage, but at the same time weirdly provides a security you don't realize until it's gone. You became dependent on it. *I* became dependent on it. So now what?

A new beginning.
A new focus.
Something.

JOURNEY is a special word to me. Because that's what all of Life is. We never have it mastered. We never have it figured out. And this thing with weight, making it more important in my life than what it needs to be at all, is just a thing I'm working through right now...

Aside from the scale, aside from numbers or even sizes, I'm working toward gaining STRENGTH. Not just in my barbell curls but in my mind. Finding balance and being wholly healthy and well-rounded: physically, emotionally, spiritually. And hoping to focus more on the positive like this:

And above all remembering my identity is in HIM, and real beauty "is that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:4)


Thanks to everyone who is journeying with me...

More to come, I'm sure.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

33. {birthday thoughts}


33 today. And almost every year has been painfully hard in various ways. But also full of good, full of memory-making, full of strength-building, full of discovery, full of dear friendships, full of family, full of faith-growing. Just gonna keep living for what I believe in and trust that God is doing something good with me. Cuz I know that He who began a good work in me will continue until the day of completion (Philippians 1:6). Life is hard but God is still good--That can be a difficult concept to wrestle with as we battle on thru the days. But it's Truth, and He is faithful. And in all the things there is a greater glory.

Favorite Bible verse and personal theme song:
"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (Colossians 2:7)



"Live Like That" 
Sidewalk Prophets

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of us
Was my worship more than just a song

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change our heart
Do I live like Your love is true

People pass
And even if they don't know my name
Is there evidence that I've been changed
When they see me, do they see You

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

I want to show the world the love You gave for me
I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Friday, February 5, 2016

A Tribute to my Facebook People.

A few weeks ago I shared on Facebook my struggle with how impersonal it's become over there.  People just mindlessly scrolling through people's lives, maybe clicking a bunch of "like" buttons (or not), and then moving on. Without any words, without any comments. And it's the words shared that make connection between my story and yours, my heart and yours. And I long for those connections to be made because within Facebook are my actual FRIENDS. For me anyway, it's a personal thing, not just hundreds people I maybe met at random events, or people I've added for business purposes. They're FRIENDS, people I truly care about.  So I encouraged everyone to make time and effort for one another, and instead of just scrolling by, take a few seconds to write something. It matters. People matter. Here's a poem I wrote that describes what the facebook community is like and the importance of precious words...


Ode to the Faces in My Book

It's really so simple,
really so small.
A word of kindness
takes no time at all.
We're friends, you and me.
That's why you are here
Your life and your heart
are so very dear.
Vacations and stories,
A meaningful quote,
The snowman you built,
Your new favorite coat,
An article you loved,
A book you just read,
A song on the radio
that's stuck in your head.
The walls you just painted,
The home you created,
Nostalgia and memories
never outdated.
Celebrations and birthdays,
laughter and tears,
loss and sadness,
worries and fears.
Milestones, victories,
Crummy days too,
It's not always smiles,
Sometimes you're just blue.
It's just a glimpse,
a speck of what's true.
But it's real, this life,
And I'm in it with you.
We're friends, you and me.
That's why you are here.
Your life and your heart
are so very dear.
I'm cheering you on
as you run your next race.
You're never alone,
not in this place.
We're all so different,
our strengths and our needs,
our wants and preferences,
our sacred creeds.
But under it all
when push comes to shove,
we all want a life
full of peace, full of love.
May our words be a gift
of sweetness and grace,
encouragement, truth,
virtual embrace.
We're friends, you and me.
That's why you are here.
Your life and your heart
are so very dear.