When I say that I do have regrets in my life, that's in turn saying that I don't appreciate where I am now in my life. Saying (to Xander and Haven and Justin) that I regret you. Wow. That hurts.
It's time.
To reach a place of acceptance and truly EMBRACE this messy fucking life, and own it. It never would have been the story tale I had been wanting, even if I hadn't messed up. We weren't happy. Kevin and I weren't necessarily meant to be together but in this messy world of free will God still used it for good. He always does. Just like He has in these more recent years of trauma and struggles. He always has a purpose, for good and glory. I need to keep walking thru it. And embrace the whole damn thing.
Today is Valentine's Day, a day of love and embracing. God, as I continue through my day, keep working these thoughts through my head and my heart, and help me to overcome these barriers that are keeping me from accepting the life I have now and reaching a place of ultimate fulfillment and joy.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
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