So glad you came to visit today! Here at my little corner of bloggy world I share a little bit about everything--family, parenting, goals, struggles, photography, recipes, n more! So curl up with a cup of hot tea {or not} and feel free to peruse around my site! Check out my sidebar for links. And come back again!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Monday Meanderings

Bible Study/Devotions
Contagious Joy bible study

Personal Goal
Start establishing a morning routine, as in I do this more than just one or two days a week, for before kids wake up.

Must Do
Drop off recycles in town.

Pantry room.

Train Them Up
Just going to love on them this week! Be productive together, read lots of books, and do little things that make them happy.

Husband Encouragement
Work harder to use timely wisely and keep house clean and tidy. Hubby recently expressed appreciation for this.

Menu Plan--we're going home next weekend so it's a short menu this time! yay! Thought about planning next week too then, but instead I'm just going to give myself a break! Kevin's working nights this week, which means no meals together as a family. So I'll try to provide leftovers for Kevin to take in with him.

Monday - potato soup, apples
Tuesday - meatballs, corn, peaches
Wednesday - chicken alfredo, broccoli, fruit cocktail

Fun Things
* Play date with church friends on Tuesday =)
* Going home next weekend for a bridal shower/visit. We haven't been back since we moved 3 months ago. I didn't realize it was going to be so long, so we'll also be picking up a few things we didn't get moved yet.

Have a great week, friends! And thanks for reading!

Friday, March 27, 2009

"Be holy, because I am holy."

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
1 Peter 1:13-16

Despite my efforts to change lately, I've still been so angry and sinful, so ugly. I've been trying to focus on thankfulness and bury myself in scripture, but it just hasn't really been sinking in, I guess. But God made it clear to me yesterday that I have been trying to change myself when the truth is that God is the one who can do the work in me. I need to stop trying to do all the right things and commit my life to Jesus. Instead of making lists of things I need to do, I need to pray. Ask God for the strength and perseverance and cling to the joy of my salvation, for that is where true joy comes from!

I know I just posted this verse a few days ago, but here it is again:

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Ps. 51:10-12

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thankful Thursday

After reading this post the other day about how thankfulness can save a marriage, I decided I really needed to get back to this weekly, if not daily, list of thanksgivings in my life! I have been having such a sour attitude lately and I want so much to change it.

So for this week I am thankful for...

* Friends visiting last week
* A good birthday which included a nice dinner out alone with my hubby! It's been a looong time since we've done that and he had set up arrangements for the kids on his own! I LOVED that!
* A rainbow on my birthday!
* My new porch swing where I can just sit and enjoy the peace and quiet and re-collect myself.
* Tiny little weed flowers in the grass
* The grass is turning green!
* My new Bible Study book called Contagious Joy.
* My 2-yr old gently stroking my arm and telling me I'm beautiful all the time
* How Hannah likes to crawl into my lap to sit
* So many good friends
* New friends
* Quiet country life
* Nice neighbors who have stopped by to welcome us to the town.
* My hard-working, patient, kind husband.

What are you thankful for? Really, take the time to make a simple list. This practice can change your life!

For more Thankful Thursday visit Lynn at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Spring cleaning on the ol' blog.

If you follow my blog with a blog reader you might notice that there have been a lot of updates to several posts. I'm just condensing my categories, so that's all!

Activity: Card games!

A couple weeks ago I discovered that Eli can play the game Uno! I take out all the Skips, Reverses, Draw 2s, etc and we just play with numbers, colors, and wild cards (aka magic cards). And to my surprise he actually GETS the game! Sure it takes a lot of me talking him through the game, but it's still fun for a few rounds and a good way to practice colors and numbers! By the way, I just have him lay his cards out on the table since he has small hands and that way I can see what he has in order to help him along.

I'm sure there are all kinds of ways to use these cards. This was one variation:
Next I want to try Crazy 8s with regular playing cards to practice shapes and numbers.

Check your attitude.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, any comfort from his life, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, have the same love, being one in spirit and purpose...
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!"
Philippians 2:1-2.5-8

A new favorite.

Just found a new treasure in blog world and thought I'd be so kind to share: THIS is a wonderful blog about marriage and parenting. Go see!

Some of the posts I've enjoyed lately are:
Are You a Born Supervisor? (on thankfulness with your spouse)
Marriage is Hard, Part 1
Marriage is Hard, Part 2
Controlling Anger Toward Our Children

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

TUESDAY Meanderings

Bible Study/Devotions
Contagious Joy Bible study--thanks, BP!!

Personal Goal
Work out! Last week it was my goal to work out every day except Sunday and I didn't work out at all! Kevin and I both think it's time to get back on track and work out regularly again.

Must Do
Return library books!

Our hutch. It's the hot spot in this house big time.

Train Them Up
We quit potty training with Eli, so now it's back to normal life. Back to school and activities.

Husband Encouragement
His work starts a little bit later this week, so he's leaving at 6am, so I'm going to try to get my butt out of bed so I can see him off before he leaves.

Menu Plan

Tuesday - pizza casserole, oranges
Wednesday - beef and cheese enchiladas
Thursday - bierochs, green beans, applesauce
Friday - lil' smokies, mac n cheese, peas
Saturday - chicken chili, peaches
Sunday - ? no idea

Fun Things
* My brother and his wife are coming this weekend for a short visit!!
* Kevin will have the weekend off and get to go to church with us!
* I got a porch swing for my birthday yesterday, so as soon as it warms up enough to go outside I'll be out enjoying my new present with perhaps a glass of iced tea in hand!
* Going to the city on Friday to shop a big kids consignment event.

Question of the week:
What's your all-time favorite just-for-fun book?

Have a great week, friends!

A clean heart.

Today's prayer as I continue to pursue and put on the "unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4)

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:10-12

Monday, March 23, 2009

Pray for Stellan

Today I'm asking prayers for MckMama's baby Stellan. He was diagnosed with heart failure while in the womb at 20 weeks but carried through a full pregnancy and was born completely healed! It was a miracle and now he's something like 5 months old now. Last night he was taken to the ER and is still having serious troubles with a high heart rate of ~250 BPM! The doctors are trying to get it to slow down but nothing seems to be working, and we know his little heart can only take that for so long. So please pray for this family!! Go to their blog to check for updates.

No menu!

No menu or plans coming from me today! Because it's my birthday and I'm taking the day off! Except for maybe making a birthday cake! haha See ya later! Or come on over for chocolatey goodness if you'd like!

Saturday, March 21, 2009


Live a life of LOVE.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Ephesians 5:1-2

Friday, March 20, 2009

A (h)airplane?

Eli came up with this (the creation not the title) on his own and I thought it was cute.
If you can't tell from the picture it's two combs put together.

Raising Godly Kids

A friend of mine just posted a good list of "practical ways to raise godly kids". Since I've been focusing a lot about parenting this week, I thought I'd share the love! Go read and be motivated!

Be a peacemaker.

"The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."
James 3:17

Read more on this verse HERE.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Clothe yourselves with love.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.
Colossians 3:12-15

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Come to me, all you who are weary

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

Are you weary and burdened?  Jesus walked this very same earth and faced many of the same worldly trials we have, yet he remained pure from all sin.  We are to take His yoke upon us and physically walk alongside him and allow the yoke of Jesus to become a "powerful guide for our thoughts and actions".  With Christ as our example, we are to be gentle and humble.  Allow Jesus to help carry the load, and find rest in your soul.

For more on what a yoke is and how we can understand this verse read THIS article from The Christian Chronicle.

Day 2 Report.

Day 2 of potty training went even better.  Eli successfully went in the potty TWICE!  Once was a partial poop and the second was a small pee.  Cuz I'm sure you really wanted to know.  Then it was followed by a LOT of peed pants, so we started putting him on the potty every 30 minutes instead of 45 minutes.  I'm leery of trying him without underwear at all because he understands that his privates are private and I don't think he'd be very cooperative about running around commando.  Plus Little Sister is around so nakedness just seems weird.  So I think we'll just keep doing what we're doing for now and see if it continues to get better!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

If it's not working, then change it!

I know many of you have seen/done the Husband Encouragement Challenge, and I've decided to do this same sort of thing regarding my children: really striving for 30 days of a good attitude. It's overwhelming so I'm trying to break it down and I am processing what's really going on in our home.

I've been trying to think through the situations in which I get most frustrated and angry.  
  • What's happening in the situation?
  • Why am I angry?
  • How can I respond differently?
THE most frustrating thing to me lately has been grocery shopping with the kids.  I can't have both kids in the cart because well, the cart is full.  And I can't wear Hannah in a carrier because of heavy jackets still and the fact that she's getting kinda big.  So Eli ends up being "free" to walk alongside the cart while Hannah sits in the child seat of the cart.  We've been trying sooo hard to stay consistent with discipline in the home, and I think Eli, for the most part, does quite well.  But we're having major issues when we're not at home.  At the grocery store I want... a) Eli to always hold onto the cart, even when we're stopped (if he's not physically holding the cart how else do I define his boundary?), b) Eli to not touch items on the shelves (some things would be fine but other things could break if they fell, so it's better to just say 'no touching') and c) Eli to not touch items or buttons at check-out.  Groceries are such a slow process for a toddler.  Even when I know exactly what I'm getting, there's still that time where you're browsing the shelf trying to find what you need.  So I know this shopping is not going to be easy for Eli but I have to do it and he has to come.  Believe me, if there was any way at all that I could go by myself I would in a heart beat, but that's not an option according to Kevin's work schedule most of the time, so somehow we need to make it work without me wanting to cry by the end because he won't obey me with a, b, or c!  Thank goodness he's not throwing tantrums but still frustrating nonetheless!

Soo... what can I do?  
* Be more consistent.  I think I start feeling like "I'm in public.  I can't do anything, so I'll just let this go."  Like letting Eli touch items on the shelves.  I need to just slow it down a bit and really work on helping Eli know what's okay and what's not, what I really expect of him.
* Beforehand thoroughly explain WHY I'm setting each of the rules-- so we're not getting in other people's way if he's roaming around, so things don't break, etc

I've noticed lately that Eli's being really disobedient when we're at church also.  Lovely huh.  So I'm realizing that we're just entering a new phase of him testing his boundaries.  We're consistent when we're at home, but I don't think we've really figured out how to handle things when we're not home.  So we need to sit down and decide on a plan and follow through.  Every time.  I think this will make a big difference!  I sure hope so!  Because I'll have both kids on my own again next Sunday for church in the morning and choir practice in the evening!  Can't wait! It makes a huge difference though when you approach things with a plan.  You've already thought through what might happen and decided how you're going to handle it.


"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:29-31

I've had two realizations with this one:
1. I want my words to benefit those who listen.  I've been getting so beyond frustrated at the grocery store that I'm no longer even putting on a good face for others.  I'm just becoming defeated like any other mom and not displaying anything of Christ. I am losing the opportunity to be a witness to Christ by showing love and patience with my children despite challenging circumstances!  

2. I realized yesterday that I also haven't really been forgiving Eli.  I discipline him for disobedience, but then I continue being mad at him.  That's not forgiveness.  So I don't know if I need to create more closure to discipline times or if it's just something to draw to my attention.

"Although we can't control everything that happens to us, we can choose how we will respond to what happens." (Cooper, Wife of Happy Husband)

This reminds me of a forum post called The List That Saved My Marriage.  A wife had to decided to leave her husband, retreating to her parents' house.  When she got there her mom told her she could not leave her husband until she followed through with an assignment first: on one column make a list of her husband's traits that totally drove her nuts.  She thought the other column would be to then list good qualities.  But instead she was told to write how she usually responds to each nagging quality.  When she saw herself on paper and how sinful her own actions were she was compelled to go home and give her marriage another shot, this time with a new attitude.

Whether it's in your marriage or in your parenting, take time this week to really look at how you're reacting to challenging situations.  What can you do differently?  Make a plan.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Day 1 report.

Today was Eli's first day of potty training, and overall I'd give him an A!  There was an initial battle first getting into underwear this morning, but then he was fine.  He ended up holding his pee for most of the morning, I was actually starting to get worried but knew he would eventually go.  And in the afternoon after his nap he was peeing his pants every half hour it seemed with the finally wammy right before dinner-- the poop!   He never did actually pee or poop in the potty at all today, but he did sit on it for a LOT of the day and he was good about wearing underwear, both of which are two things he's greatly been resisting lately.  So today I think we mostly worked out his fear of the potty, and the next step is for him to start gaining control of his body.  Overall I was very pleased with how today went!  On to Day 2 tomorrow...

Monday Meanderings

Bible Study/Devotions
more on anger/patience

Personal Goal
* Start doing workout EVERY day (minus Sun
day) instead of just every other day or so when we feel like it.

Must Do
* Check into local DMVs or a place we can get Nebraska driver's licenses.

Basement--we really got it organized last week b
ut now we have a big pile of boxes and trash that need to go out.

Train Them Up
* Potty training with Eli!

Husband Encouragement
* A test run of the family's recipe for angel food cake, Kevin's favorite!

Menu Planning

Monday - crispy chicken strips, cheesy cauliflower, apples
Tuesday - pizza with friends out to our house to play outside!
Wednesday - French dip sandwiches, potato salad
Thursday - friends visiting! -
Friday - meatloaf, corn, mashed potatoes
Saturday - chicken and rice casserole
Sunday - I have choir and Kevin has work so since it's a late dinner for both of us we'll all meet in town and go out to eat.

Fun Things
* Kevin's days off this week are today (once he wakes up from working last night) through Thursday!  It's going to be nice weather so I'm sure we'll be having lots of family fun outside and doing house projects!
* I have friends coming to visit Thursday night!

Prayer Requests
* Patience as we try potty training with Eli.
* Patience and peace with parenting in general.
* Blessed time with Daddy/Kevin this week!

Question of the week:
Do you plant a garden?  If so, what do you plant?  Do you have any tips for a newbie?  I want to plant a vegetable garden this spring but have no experience in this area--where to plant (in relation to house and shade), what to plant, when to plant, how to care for it.  I'm willing to do a little reading on it but just thought I'd ask my friends first!  Cuz I always love hearing from y'all!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Be transformed!

First I am taking off my mask today.  Regardless of how I may seem from this blog, I am truly a weary mom.  Too often I find myself feeling frustrated, angry, burnt-out, defeated, on the verge of tears.  Some days I just hate being a full-time mom.  This job is so trying.  It's just so... constant!  So much of every day is the SAME!  Not as in being bored, but as in the same ol' issues day in, day out. Prodding kids to eat their meals-- breakfast, lunch, dinner EVERY day.  Dragging the kids around for all my errands.  Having to move at a toddler pace when my arms are full of heavy bags and a baby.  Too much vying for my attention.  Wiggly babies and poopy diapers.  I can clean up the whole house and 5 seconds later it's tornado zone again!  I've been yelling and throwing my own tantrums.  I KNOW it is such a horrible example to the kids.  But I just can't seem to get a grip!  


I am trying.

Lord, I am trying!  

Because I sure don't like this.  And I know God doesn't either.

This past week our computer was in the shop, and I was completely offline for about 5 days.  I spent some time really refocusing, getting in the Word, and bathing myself in scripture trying to just change my attitude completely.  This verse is one of my very most inspiring verses, and it's not even a complete sentence! But it creates a beautiful vision for how I want to be!  I am striving for the...

"...unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1 Peter 3:4

I would love to be gentle and have a quiet spirit.  To know how to hold my tongue.  To be patient and loving, compassionate. To be submissive.... THAT is how I want to be!

I've never been good at reading my Bible.  And by "good at" I really mean I just plain haven't been doing it at all.  I want to but just have always felt overwhelmed, like I had no idea what to even read.  But following a friend's suggestion, this week I decided to do a topical study and I read verses upon verses starting with gentleness, since that's a quality I would most like to develop.  Like it's really that easy and  I can whip up the ingredients. ha!  Anyway, I started with gentleness writing all these verses down in my journal.  From there I branched out to the other fruits of the Spirit.  

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
Galatians 5:22

Wow, that's quite a to-do list!  Oh wait, what was that?  Oh, the fruits of the SPIRIT... Okay, so it's not the fruits of SARAH... None of those fruits are of human nature.  I cannot do this without the help of my loving Savior who has given us a Helper, the Holy Spirit who lives inside of ME!  He is WITH ME!

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand."
Isaiah 41:10

"...the Spirit helps us in our weakness."  Romans 8:26

I'll close with a few of my favorite quotes from You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband:

"When your heart is right before God, filled with his truth and love, your eyes and features will express a gentle nature and peaceful outlook." (116)

"...if through reading and meditating on God's Word you allow Christ's mind to be formed in your own and you operate on the basis of God's principles, you will experience stability, inner peace, fulfillment, and inner beauty." (119)

I have lots more verses that have been encouraging in this journey toward changing my heart attitude, and I hope to share these verses in the next few days and months.  It helps me to just keep re-reading them every day, reminding me of God's will for me in my role as a Godly parent.  I am mostly applying these verses towards parenting because that's where I am most struggling right now, but it also applies to greatly to my marriage as well.  

I wish I could say that I now have it all figured out!  The days when I'm not distracted with computer and other things and I really have make time to read scripture are so much better.  When I am not frustrated and angry and yelling, Eli is a hundred times more obedient, and I'm happy to praise him for all the good things he does.  I actually had a couple days last week where I thought my children were delightful!  It seems so silly, like it should always be like that, but really, think about how often you truly find your children delightful for an entire day?  Do you need a transformation?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Romans 12:2

More tomorrow!

~ Sarah

Tomorrow's the big day...

We're going to try potty training with Eli starting tomorrow.  I'm not entirely sure that he's ready for it, so this is a little trial period to see how he takes to it.  Right now he has no interest in sitting on the potty.  I can tell when he needs to go poop because he's starts saying, "No, no!" and then runs off to hide somewhere.  If I ask him if he wants to go on the potty, he just says, "No, privacy please."  But tomorrow we're putting him in underwear, and maybe then when he realizes that the alternative means his pants getting wet THEN he'll want to sit on the potty instead.  Kevin will be home so that's why we're trying tomorrow.  We'll give him lots of juice, rewards, stickers, etc trying to make it exciting for Eli as we praise each success, big or small.  Every day (or so) when we do the calendar during Eli's "school time" we've been talking about how potty time is coming up on Monday/tomorrow, and we've been building it up enough that he seems to be getting excited also.  And that's a good sign.  However, I truly have no expectations for how the next couple of days will go.  I'd be surprised if it actually worked, but at the same time, I have to believe in my own child.  Quite often when given the chance they surprise us with their capabilities!  Wish us luck!

Sunday Psalm

Psalm 19:12

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I know I post this verse a lot, but it's because it's one of my favorites.  This time I'm reading this verse and applying it to my role as a parent, and it means even more to me.  I have more coming on that tomorrow, something that's been deeply encouraging to me this past week, and my hope is that will be encouraging to you as well.  But for today, Happy Sunday!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Simple Fun

We used some cardboard pieces when we were painting Hannah's room, and before I finally put them away a few days ago I decided to draw a little road on it for Eli to drive his cars.  Easy entertainment and a cheap new "toy".  I gotta say, being a parent sure has brought some creativity back to life!  haha

Friday, March 13, 2009

Do I love my husband?

In the back of the book You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband one of the chapter assignments (at end of book) is to read 1 Cor. 13:4-7 and personalize it by putting your name in place of love. For me it takes on a whole new meaning when read as...
I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud. I am not rude, nor self-seeking, I am not easily angered, I keep no record of wrongs. I do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. I always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.
Uh yeah, I totally fall short of all of those things.

And I'm working on it. Through regular Bible times and prayer with God. And my hope is that the Spirit living inside me will me help me to grow into the loving wife God calls me to be. Because I sure as heck can't do it on my own!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I'm ba-ack!

I'm not entirely sure you even noticed that it's been awhile since I've posted, but I'm back!  Our computer was in the shop this week, but finally it's fixed!  And it didn't cost us one penny, except the gas money to take it in to the city.  The screen kept shutting off on our laptop to the point where it wouldn't wake back up at all, and it turned out to be something that was actually on recall, so that's why we didn't have to pay for the repair. New hard drive, new mother board, and new video card!  Woohoo!  Anyway,  it's good to feel connected to the world again!  =)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Activity for 2: Painting with....

...PUDDING! Hannah still puts a lot of things (i.e. crayons) in her mouth, so I have to be a little creative about what projects include her. Plus, she's still just ONE. But it's been my goal to get her involved too, so today I thought we'd try finger painting with pudding! I had heard the idea a long time ago but today was our first go at it. It gave both kids a chance to explore texture a little bit. Cold and creamy...

For a lot of the time Hannah just sat watching Eli.I love the cheeks in these two. Couldn't decide which one I liked best.Towards the end we even got a couple hand prints in there.
Of course after playing in it for awhile, we finally got to eat some! Yumm... A VERY rare treat!
I'm pretty excited about another idea we did following the pudding. But I'll save that post for tomorrow!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Activity: Sponge Painting

cheap sponges cut into shapes. They work best when they're damp.finger paints
...and go!pausing to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"he's saying, "Oooo!"he'd place the sponge down and then peel it away like there was a surprise underneathsponging awayThis picture was for me and then...
...he wanted this picture too. Now that look at his cute little faceHe's saying, "Yay for diamonds!"
When we got towards the end of painting, we swirled the paint on the plate and did a few prints that way. It turned into beautiful art itself.
Since Eli was already dressed like this for painting and we needed to clean up anyway, we headed straight into sink play. He loves this, and it's been quite awhile since we've done this.