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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Facebook 2013

Greetings and Happy New Year!!  I haven't been on here a whole lot.  I'm kind of processing a lot of things these days, and I don't know what to say or THAT it even needs said, especially here to the public!  But this is one thing that has been heavy on my heart, and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it.... Facebook.

The more I'm there, the more I read what people share, what people comment, the more I observe my own behaviors and feelings, it seems like such a huge trap for sin.  I can only speak for myself and my experience, and these are the ways Facebook causes me to stumble...

It causes JEALOUSY, seeing what other friends are doing.  Everything gets shared, ya know. Lunch dates, shopping trips, movies.  And sometimes, even though it doesn't seem like there's any valid reason, I just feel a twinge of jealousy.  A feeling of being left out, or coveting time out like that for myself.

One of the biggest struggles I think is PRIDE, and this is one I often see, and I'm guilty of it too.  Boasting about accomplishments, in seek of praise and comments, seeking man's approval.  When I post photos or even a status update I check back very very frequently, eager to see what comments I have.  Wow, such sin, trying to build myself up like that. Even if it's unintentional, it totally happens.

And on the flip side are PITY PARTIES, people complaining about this and that just in search of comments and others to come alongside them. Yes, it's good to be real, to show the tough times too, but what is the real motive?

Not to mention the IDLENESS and unproductivity of simply BEING online all the time.

Being a regular Facebook user quickly and easily leads to restlessness and discontentment and I lose the gift of being fully present with those I am with.  There's always a need to know the latest news, because it's constantly changing, people are always posting.

And then there's the hurt and insult caused by posts/comments, even of complete strangers.  And the firey feeling of needing to defend yourself. It's awful.

And hurt and assumptions from posts that are vague, and humans can't help but jump to their own conclusions about what it must mean.  I've probably been on both sides of that "game".

You see, it's such an ugly trap.

But at the same time it's good, and that's why this causes such turmoil within me.  

It's a place where pictures are easily and privately shared with friends and family.
You can share encouraging Bible verses, articles, music, and videos.
You can share simple things that just make you laugh.
You can share kind thoughts and messages to those you care about.
It's a source of communication and news, including urgent prayer requests.

For many others Facebook is not such a battle.  But for me it is.  So for 2013 how do I make this work?

I took my "wall" down.  In order to write to me, it has to be a private message.  This is to protect my friends and readers from any misinterpretations and to help guard my relationships as something somewhat personal.

I now require authorization before I can be "tagged" in something for all the rest of my friends to see.

I cannot remove the option of photo comments, so that just is what it is.

I will use more caution in what I post by following these rules I'd found on Pinterest regarding children but it fully applies to Facebook:

And while I can't control what OTHERS say, I can better control what I SEE.  So I'm working through my friends list.  But that kinda takes forever, so I majorly cut down my list of "close friends" and can view the feeds of that instead of the feeds of EVERYONE!  Simply cutting down will also cut down my online time altogether.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

So here, my friends, is to a new year!!


Randi S said...

You brought to light many things I haven't seen in FB but I definitely understand the pride and discontent. I am changing my FB by being on there unintentionally only one time a week. Anthony & I use it like texting so it's hard to say I'll never be on there otherwise, but if I'm on otherwise, it's an on and off thing. I'm going to seriously look at this ONE thing and get off. It's been hard already. I'll be praying for you; will you for me?

Servant Becca said...

Beautiful, Sarah! Your heart seeking God and being godly is definitely something to carry into the (any) new year.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Facebook is something I struggle with too, for many of these same reasons.

Kathy said...

Amen Sarah! I struggle with some of the same things, the biggest of which is the HUGE time waster. How can I constantly complain I have no time for exercise and scrapbooking when I sit on FB for hours on end?! Great thoughts and I appreciate your honesty ... also love the idea of using that 'THINK' filter before I type something. Lots to think about, thanks again!!

Mary said...

Great minds think alike Sarah! I wrote a follow up post today from the one I wrote last month about cutting back. I love how you summarized things though. I agree with you on so many points!!!! http://aproductiveendeavor.blogspot.com/2013/01/less-facebook-clutter.html

Kassandra said...

I don't struggle with facebook personally, but I understand some of your feelings about it - many of them are the same reasons that I chose to limit my exposure to facebook for awhile ago. I think cutting back your friends in general and just the close friends feed in particular is a great way to start. I did that when I needed to eradicate a lot of the negativity and crudeness that my "friends" were posting. Many times I have thought of getting off facebook all together, but like you, I enjoy the interaction it lets me have with the positive people in my life! Hope it all goes well for you and you find your balance!

sarah marie said...

Good post! The jealousy thing can really get to me, too. Always seems everyone else is out having more fun than I am! :-/ You're so right about some of the pitfalls of fb.

The Cutes and Scoots Show said...

AMEN! You speak the words that I hear in my own mind on a daily basis. Have you also asked... why am I doing this? How did I get sucked in? And yet somehow we just keep doing it. It's a radical phenomenon of today's society - it's become a "need" that just isn't necessary and I almost don't know how to break the chain. I too have been thinking of cutting down my list but like you said that's so time consuming. I've thought about going cold turkey but then remembered all the things that I wouldn't know if I left totally - births, deaths, celebrations, sadness. It's a love - hate relationship that often consumes us. I've even found myself slacking in the blog department because I feel like "everyone already know it" why am I wasting my time writing here TOO! And just getting flustered even more about which is more important. Given that I don't blog for money and really I just began it to keep friends and family informed, why keep blogging? Then I remembered the 1 reason I vowed to myself to keep blogging is because I don't scrapbook or have baby books so really that was my "history" for my boys. It's a struggle for me as well. Please keep me posted as you continue your journey and what you end up resolving to do. Happy 2013!