What I discovered about myself in 2014 is that I have a lot of dreams and passions and am stuck in a life of frustration because I am depending upon and waiting on other people to help make those dreams become reality.
This is my life. I must be proactive.
God filled me with these dreams and passions, He molded this heart of mine, and He will give me courage to step outside of myself.
I want to live the Gospel boldly. I want to BE the good in the world. And I've realized that all my wishing and hoping does nothing. I can't pray for a change in someone ELSE in order for there to be a change in ME. My life starts with my life. I can't let my heart for something be contingent upon someone or something else.
I am introverted (another big thing I've learned about myself in 2014) and the thought of just going for it and doing something on my own makes me want to CHOKE. I am not a leader and maybe never will be. This is not my comfort zone. But I CAN do something in my style and my way. I CAN stop overthinking it and overstressing and overanalyzing. I CAN take opportunity of the small moments that come with each day. If my passion is to serve others, I CAN live a life of open eyes, open heart, and boldness. I CAN live a life full of quiet kindnesses. I don't have to stop being my introverted self, because it's who I am and there is a gift in that, but I do want to challenge myself to step out in faith.
This fully describes how I want to live my year and my life:
Because after all, that's how Jesus lived. And my desire is to be more like Him every day, every moment, every breath. To live without agenda, without blinders, but to make the most of every opportunity because these days are fleeting, and there is a hurting and broken world to love on. Jesus himself says, "whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me... Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." (Matthew 25:40,45) May I never pass on by the person I was meant to serve. May I live with courage and boldness and LOVE EXTRAVAGANTLY. In a world full of hate, bitterness, retaliation, and darkness, may my life shine so that through me others may see HIM.