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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

ABCs of Being a Help Meet

I got to this page in Created to Be His Help Meet today and thought I'd share...

A - Admit when you are wrong
B - Be positive
C - Cuddle
D - Do it his way
E - Encourage him
F - Fix his breakfast
G - Give back rubs
H - Hug often
I - "I love you" should be said many times daily
J - Joke around in a playful manner
K - Know his needs
L - Listen to him
M - Manage your home well
N - Never hold grudges
O - Open your eyes in the morning and smile
P - Pray for him
Q - Quit nagging him
R - Reminisce about good times
S - Show respect and honor
T - Trust, and earn his trust
U - Understand his need for reverence
V - Vulnerability is a feminine train; cultivate it
W - Wink at him
X - X is for private times
Y - Yearn to please him
Z - Zealously guard him with your love

I can see there are a few of these things I could definitely do more of. And some of these things have greatly diminished in the life of three little ones. I had my mom come last Saturday so Kevin and I could go out for the day sans kids. Even Carter who I nurse full-time. I left a couple bottles for him and brought my pump along for me, and we were off for a very enjoyable day out. It went all too quickly, as it always does. And all we did was run errands. But man, to walk into a store holding hands with my husband and to get in and out of the car without juggling a full load was SO FREEING! We could get through a complete sentence without interruption and actually carry on conversation, joke, and laugh. I do NOT want to wish this time away with my beautiful children, but man, guys, this phase of life is hard on a marriage. At least for me it is. When Kevin and I were out I realized how out of touch we've been and how distant the life of US seems! We hang out at home, we watch movies together, and chat about things, but it's always still within the context of our stressful life we now live. When we got home Saturday afternoon I was once again reminded how DESPERATELY I need to find a baby sitter for our family! So Kevin and I can spend uninterrupted time together on a REGULAR basis, every month! My soul wants that oh so badly {even more than I want a dishwasher!} But it's hard to make that first step. To go with someone we don't know. So that's one of my very biggest goals this year, find a baby sitter. Reconnect with my husband. Regularly. And re-find the joy we have in each other!


Kristen Lisemby Lee said...

I am actually blogging excerpts from that book on my blog! :) I'm anxious to post the ABC's! :)

Kassandra said...

You have no idea how comforting it is to hear that my husband and I are not alone in our struggles to stay connected, to stay US, during this busy time in our life. A toddler, a baby on the way, school, work, housework...it's so easy to get caught up in all the busy-ness (is that a word?) of life and forget that staying connected to one another doesn't happen on it's own - it takes effort and work and patience! Thanks for sharing!

Be Strong in the Lord said...

Love the list! Thanks for posting it. I am going to print it and put it in my bible to review frequently. Really nicely put.

Now I am going to share from a friend's experience. Sorry. I don't have my own, yet. For now I am the sitter so that my brother can still date his wife.

Friend's Experience:
One of my best friends moved to another state a few years ago. She had three 18 month olds and a 4 year old. It was a small town, and she did not know anyone. She and her husband had a commitment to keep dating weekly or monthly so that they could stay connected, but they did not know anyone to keep the kids, and she knew the kids were quite a handful. She did not want to leave them with just anyone. Specifically, she did not think a young girl could handle them. For a while, they dated in their living room floor. They would put the kids to bed and then have a picnic and talk way into the night on Friday nights. But, then God put a lovely older couple in their lives. The couple was still in good health, but old enough to be the kids’ grandparents. That couple loved to play with the kids and then turn them back over to my friends. For a while they just came over and played with the parents at home visiting with all of them, but eventually my friends got go out while the couple played with their kids. As I was reading your post today I thought maybe you could find a couple like that. My friend's husband met this couple at work, but maybe there would be someone in your church.

I don't know. Just a thought. Take it and mull it over or leave it right here. I'll pray for you and Kevin to find the right answer. While I do not have children of my own yet, I do know how different the connection is with my husband on the nights we keep the two girls.

May God richly bless. Again, thanks for sharing.

bp said...

I appreciate this list. I think I need to read this book. You always post such great things from it.

Gena D. said...

I'm going to have to read this book! Thanks for everything you've shared about it and your life. Even after 21 years of marriage, I need to be reminded of these things, and make some changes. I love your blogs!