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Monday, September 17, 2007

Husband Encouragement

My love language is Quality Time. If Kevin and I don't have quality time together, I feel like our marriage is getting weak and it's time for some TLC. There are and will be those moments all throughout life. But it's up to us to recognize that and take care of it, instead of just grumble about it and give up on marriage itself. It takes work! Quality time, to me, doesn't mean running errands together, going out to eat, being home at the same time, playing with Eli, watching TV, etc. It means just Kevin and me having an actual conversation about something real, talking about life, just sitting together without distraction, working on something fun together, looking at real estate and dreaming about the future, playing a game, etc. This week my husband encouragement goals are going to focus on the things I alone can do to encourage more of that much-needed quality time...

1. Go to bed at the same time no matter what. I like to take a shower at night, and since I know Kevin needs to be in bed by 10 in order to get up at 5:00am for work, I'm going to make sure I'm done with my shower by 10pm. And if he feels like going to bed at 9:00, then I go to bed at 9pm. Period. I want to show him that I really value that, and I value him, by doing this instead of always expecting him to stay up until I'm ready for bed. (since I'm more of a night owl)

2. Plan a date night. It's been sooo long since Kevin and I have been on a date just the two of us. I just realized this week why I've been putting it off. I feel like since we only go out once in a blue moon that when we do go out, it has to be something great, something different than just dinner or a movie. But this time, I'll arrange for a babysitter and it'll force me to actually look around and find something fun for us to enjoy. And sure enough, I did some browsing this morning for a Christian coffee house, and I found one 45 minutes aways with a little concert this weekend. So if all works out, we'll be go to that!

3. Read together. Last week we started reading together Shepherding a Child's Heart, and last night we finished chapter two. I'd like to continue reading one chapter together a week, but it takes my initiation, so I will work to remember that.

Your love language is the way of receiving love that you respond most to. The 5 love languages are quality time, physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Author Gary Chapman says, "We must be willing to learn our spouse's primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love." I know, I should be focusing on my husband's love language instead of my own, which I do. But in hopes of being fed in the way that I need, I'm going to try to do what I can on my end, instead of just expecting my husband to do what I want him to. Does that make sense?

Do you know what your love language is? Do you know your husband's love language? What can you do this week to show him love and appreciation in that way?


Angie said...

Sarah, date night is absolutely important! I never has to be expensive...can just be a quick bite and a walk! (We like to get a cup of coffee/tea etc. at Atlanta Bread, or place similar)
You are such a caring wife...always on the look-out for things to make others happy!
I have got to get that book (Shepherding a Child's heart for my daughter). I have a copy of the Gary Smalley Love Language book) Another good one is by Stormie O.---Power of a Praying Parent (one for wives too).
Loved visiting w/you sweet girl! Now, how many days till we know???

According to HIS Power said...

I need to post on this; hopefully I can get it on there later tonight. I really need to be more encouraging as Charlie is going through some really rough things at work and with family right now. Date night is something that we have really gotten away from because it is so hard to get someone to watch the girls, not because they are bad, just because everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives. I have got to put the effort out though and find someone. We haven't had a date since LIly was 4 weeks old! So, anyway, I've got a lot to think about and hopefully I will get to post on this soon!

Love and Prayers,


Sharon said...

I agree with Angie-you're such a caring person! And I apologize for not knowing how to ask this properly, without sending the wrong message. But I always read on your blog about all you're doing to better your relationship, etc. Do you find you're the only one doing so, or do you feel that your husband is equally doing things on your behalf? I don't mean that to sound like you only give to get something in return. Please don't take it that way! I am just curious here as I look at my own marriage.