Husband Encouragement Challenge: Day 4

As I mentioned on DAY 1, this time doing the challenge I am focusing on these three goals, as I continue reading You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband:

1. Focus only on my role as a spouse and not my husband's.
2. Trust God to work in Kevin's life.
3. Love Kevin unconditionally, accepting him as he is.

I'm going for more of a heart change than behavior change during these weeks. You see, there are specific areas in my husband's life I would love to see change, and for the three years we've been married, I kept thinking I could just encourage him in the right direction. Make suggestions, buy books, drop hints, and sometimes it was just an all-out heart-melt (where I actually told him how I want things to be different), all on top of prayer of course. But God's been making me realize (especially through this book, wow!) how much I really just need to love and accept Kevin as he is and let God do the work in him. It's not even my responsibility! What a weight lifted off me!

Here are some very encouraging passages from the book...

"Do not assume responsibilities that are your husband's alone. Realize that there are needs in his life that you cannot meet, such as his need to make Christ the Lord of his life or his need for acceptance and approval by others in business and society. Your main job is to comfort, encourage, and support your man when he is with you. As you plant and water your mate's life with praise, it is God's job to make it grow and bring an increase. "(44)

"Don't push him; just believe in him, and you will begin to experience a deeper, closer relationship with your man." (39)

"You and your husband will be contented and free only when you quit setting unrealistic goals and stop expecting him to be who he is not. Allow God to conform your mate into his image rather than trying to conform him in the image you have for his life." (49)

"Make it a habit, when you have the desire to change something about your husband, to ask Christ to show you your faults." (52)

Author Darien B. Cooper draws out the encouragement written in Philippians 4:4,6-8....

Rejoice in the Lord always....Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus... Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

What great verses! These have been some of my memory verses, yet it wasn't really until now as I put them in the context of marriage that I realize how power they really have!

For DAY 4 of the challenge we are to think on our husband and his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

Kevin's job is definitely one thing I don't take for granted! He is such a hard worker and great at what he does! Because of him, his work ethic, his leadership, his values for family, I am able to stay home with our children! And what a blessing that is! I don't always see him off to work (as he leaves at 6am and I'm just now getting in the routine of getting up earlier), but we do always greet him with a warm welcome when he comes home. When he's on a night shift, I make sure he has plenty of snacks, food to eat, and coffee to get him through the long hours. I try to keep the house quiet while he's sleeping during the day. And on his days off, I make sure he gets some real time off for himself while Eli and I go out of the house for awhile. And on occasion I do thank him for working and for being the provider for our family. He's a good man!

Go to Speaking from the Heart to join in on this challenge!