Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from this internet world. Sometimes I blab too much about my feelings. I find myself just becoming extremely defensive and I hate it. I hate that I don't have the answers. I hate that I'm so insecure in my path. I'm hate that I'm so full of anger as I try to train these children just right. I hate that DOING is so much harder than knowing. I hate that I'm such a walking contradiction, as I yell angrily at the kids "YOU HAVE TO DO IT WITH A HAPPY HEART!" So this week I'm just going to be quiet here on the blog. Not that that alone is instantly going to change ANYTHING. But I want to spend more time focusing on what's HERE in my actual home. Get off my lazy butt, go over to my squabbling children, put a gentle hand on each of them, and quietly remind them to choose love.
We'll see how THAT goes!
4 comments:
Sarah, I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much. You are in my prayers.
I did this very thing recently as you noticed on my blog and the posts I put up. And it worked wonders. Gave me the opportunity to find the opposite extreme and then help determine the perfect middle ground for being "there" in the moment and yet "here" in my world as well. We're several weeks into the new year and thus far our home has had very little squabble and much more happy cheerful faces INCLUDING mommy's!! Take as much time as you need. I will support you in this effort. After all, we are all learning as we go through this blessed life.
I admire you for recognizing that the world puts pressure on us in a variety of ways. And yes, I believe that can come even from brothers and sisters in Christ. You have the hardest job ever of full-time Mom. May God give you peace that you ARE doing a great job raising your precious children.
Oh Sarah, it is hard when we can instantly tell our feelings; we just have to be discerning. :) And remember that unsolicited advice is often well-meaning.
And I was having a hard time (still do moments) with the anger. This week the Holy Spirit has taken over - I can literally feel it. I will pray the same for you, my friend.
What path are you insecure about? Staying home? Oh sweetie, you couldn't be doing better for your kids.
If you ever need to talk, please feel free to call me. :)
Post a Comment