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Friday, August 20, 2010

Traits of a Good Help Meet

Alright guys, I did it.  I finally {what a year later probably?} finished the book.  I'm not sure why I'm such a sloooow reader, but it in no way portrays my like/dislike for a book.  I LOVED this book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debbi Pearl {thank you, Julie, for loaning me the book for half a decade! I WILL get it returned to you!}

This one quote pretty much sums up Debbi's theme of the entire book:

"No matter who or what your husband is, your job is to be his help meet.  When you approach him with light in your eyes, that light will reflect back to you."  (284)

It was pretty amazing reading some of the letters from people throughout the book and how just a change in their own attitude is what then made ALL the difference in their marriage, even in the very worst of all marriages! 

At the end of most chapters Debi lists some traits of a good help meet.  I kept a running compilation of these traits and here's the master list.  Read through it slowly and evaluate yourself and imagine the kind of woman this is...

Traits of a good help meet:

* She is joyful.
* She makes love fun.
* She is thankful and content.
* She asks God for wisdom.
* She learns to understand and appreciate her man for who he is.
* She learns to be flexible.
* She fears God.
* She believes God's word as it is written.
* She considers her position as a help meet a privileged command.
* She acknowledges the "good traits" in her man.
* She speaks of her husband with esteem.
* She defers to him.
* She never responds to him with scorn or ridicule.
* She provides an oasis for her man.
* She fixes meals that please him; she does not cook to suit herself.
* She plans and prepares well ahead of time.
* She exercises self-discipline.
* She establishes a haven of rest.
* She will adjust to her husband's time schedule and eating habits.
* She will relax and enjoy her family, instead of fretting.
* She glories in answering her husband's needs.
* She learns to know his needs even before he is aware he has them.
* She empties her mind of the cares of the world so her body can respond to him with eagerness.
* She soberly considers the needs of her children before her own interests.
* She invests time in training them to know and do many things.
* She schools herself in diet and medicine to be better equipped to keep them safe.
* She grows in grace and knowledge.
* She is gracious and honest.
* She is without guile toward her husband.
* She can be found at home.
* She takes her responsibilities seriously.
* She maintains safety for her children in the refuge where God has put her.
* She fears blaspheming God's Word. She knows that whatsoever you sow, you will reap.
* She is at home being an earthbound guardian angel to her children.
* She makes valuable uses of her time at home, creating a clean and pleasant haven.
* She helps.
* She is a doer.  She busy serving others.
* She serves her husband first, her children second, others next, and herself last.
* She is genuine and well-disposed.
* She is yielding, willing, and eager to accomplish injunctions or desires, and abstains from that which is forbidden.
* She looks for ways to obey and reverence her husband.
* She channels her mind into positive ways of saying "yes".
* She never considers herself to be an exception to the rule of being a help meet.

There's sooo much I've learned from this book!  I really want to be a whole different person when it comes to my marriage and home and parenting, and I'm praying for a better start right now!

More posts related to this book:

1 comment:

Kathy said...

thanks for sharing. I too was deeply affected after reading that book. I know some of her ideas are a little wild but overall she is spot on with her wisdom! =) I think sooooo many women could have much happier marriages if they learned to approach their marriage in this God honoring way.